Who Are You & What Do You Want?

Angelism: “All you can be is be who you are and know that is enough.”

Today I raise this question, “Who are you and what do you want?” Remove all the expectations others have of you and answer this for yourself. If you can answer with confidence then you will be successful no matter what craziness gets thrown your way. Many women go decades without ever considering their wants. Some women settle in their life and do not reassess the situation. You change and grow all the time. You learn everyday. If you are not changing, then you are stuck. Even if you are totally happy in your routine, there is still room to do more to enhance your life. Never limit yourself. Your life will only be happy and interesting if you make it that way.
Life doesn’t greet you with everything planned out, you have to go for it. So I ask you, “Who are you?” Do you have a positive or negative answer? In order to be confident and strong, you should have an answer to this question. The answer should be your truth – not what you want it to be, but what your family and friends would agree that you are. It’s about owning your character and accepting yourself as you are. Through acceptance you find unconditional love for yourself and others. How well do you know you?
My response to this question currently is; I am happy, a good companion, a great friend, a loving and accepting daughter, a hard worker, a planner, a dreamer, organized and clean, hopeful, a woman of faith, a leader, a motivator, forgiving, and an emotionally connected individual with a crazy, outgoing and youthful personality. That is the good of who I am. I also have my negative stuff. I have an ability to tune people out when I think what they are saying is not important. I often am more focused on what I am going to say as a response, rather than listening. I don’t enjoy being domestic and I can’t sit still when I’m at home because my OCD kicks in and I can think of a million other things more productive I should be doing. I struggle with my weight, watch my diet every day, and beat myself up because I set high expectations. I’m passionate about my beliefs and often come across to others as judgemental because of this. I complain when I shouldn’t, I can be a stubborn Taurus, and I get annoyed easily when things don’t go as planned. When I believe in something very strongly you can’t convince me otherwise. When I’m right in my head I’m right and there is no changing it. I own these qualities even though they are not my finest.
This is who I am. The good and bad. I am not perfect but I am confident that I know myself. I learn daily. I’m not my job, my stuff, or my mistakes. I’m not my past or my misfortunes. I am a woman who loves with all my heart, has fun, and enjoys sharing my soul with those around me. I keep no secrets, because secrets create anxiety and drama. Secrets wreck relationships.
Once you define who you are then you must answer; “What do you want?” Think hard about this. If there was every possibility that you could actually achieve what you want, what would it be? For me I want health, love, happiness, quality friendships, independence, wealth, a loving relationship, and time to travel. I want to be my own boss, I want to earn financial freedom and I want to travel the world. I want to write and I want Angelisms.com to be a success. I want to give back to the community and those less fortunate than me. I want to keep learning and I want to live a long healthy life in which to do all this. I want this and I know in my heart I will get it, if not in this moment then someday soon. I have been blessed with health, love, happiness, good friends and a great companion. I have many of my wants and now my focus is financial security. I’m putting independent wealth on my request to the universe.
So again, I ask, “Who are you and what do you want?” Your answer may look shorter than this or it may take up three sheets of paper. Either way, you should be able to sit down with a pen and paper and answer this question thoroughly. For now, this is my answer and in a year, or two, or three, it may change drastically. Know who you are, know what you want, and be open to changing the answer as life moves on and takes twists and turns. Be strong, be happy, be confident and always know your answer to this.

Complaining about Complaining

Angelism: “Complaining out loud is expressing negatively what you don’t want or like. How much better would your life be if you spoke positively & shared what you do want & like? Start today.”

Not long ago I read the book A Complaint Free World and I had a huge wake-up call. I know complaining is common and I’m often a receiver and a sender. I consider myself a happy, upbeat, positive person and I didn’t think complaining was much of an issue for me. I was very wrong and this has been a lesson learned. I know I will never give up complaining 100%. It’s not easy to entertain or have a little obnoxious fun if I don’t go off dramatically on topics every once in a while. The clarity this book brought to me was the awareness of the constant, useless, serves no purpose, out loud complaints I say and hear that are not needed. For example:
“I’m tired” 
“I have a headache” 
“I have too much work” 
“My boss is an idiot” 
“My cats are annoying” 
“This remote doesn’t work” 
“I’m bored” 
“I’m cold” 
“I hate this song” 
“That driver is a maniac” 
“Laundry blows” 
“I don’t want to cook” 
“I feel fat” 
“I can’t think” 
“My day has been awful”
“My hair looks like shit!”
These are just a few of the CRAZY things I caught myself saying. This useless out loud chatter gives off bad vibes. This kind of talk creates negative energy in our space and is verbal communication that serves no good. If any of you have read this book or have seen Will Bowen (author) on Oprah, you know that the goal is to wear a purple bracelet around your wrist and every time you complain you have to switch the bracelet to the other wrist. The first day I swear I had bruises from swapping the bracelet so much. The goal is to go 21 days without complaining. I’m not sure that is a goal I can ever achieve but I will try. I’m very aware of the commentary around me now, so much that I hear random people a good distance away complaining about stuff. Even if you personally can’t make the change, the awareness is a step in the right direction. Now at least I catch myself and apologize to those around me who may have been in earshot of my wasteful words.
I feel this is a book that all people should read. With stopping the endless negative chatter you free up more quiet time than you ever thought possible. In this quiet time you can analyze and replace the bad thoughts with good ones. Stop verbally expressing every “Debbie Downer” thought and unimportant dramatic moment. No need to draw that kind of attention. The goal of this great little book and the bracelets (that are free: http://www.acomplaintfreeworld.org/), is to have a complaint free world and I think that’s wonderful. This book gets 5 out of 5 stars from me.