Never FAKE the “BIG O”

Angelism: “Get out of your own head & chase your physical wants & desires.”

Promise me, from this moment forward, you will never, ever, ever, fake an orgasm. Raise your hand and swear to me that you will make it a point to always achieve the “BIG O”, preferably multiple times if you can. If you fail at the “BIG O” the only valid excuse is you were super drunk or so exhausted you slept through it. Not reaching orgasm is the worse possible mistake a woman can make in a relationship. When you fake it, the only person who suffers is you. Your body warms up, the juices start flowing, your downstairs gets excited and starts its engine, and then your brain steps in and somehow becomes your vagina’s worst enemy. You deserve to feel the tingling, overwhelming, body twitching, toe-curling, steamy joy of a climax. Faking this pleasure eventually leads to frustration and resentment towards your partner.

When it comes to sex I always say that “doing it” needs to be a priority. I believe that women should orgasm first. In my experience, once a man has finished, sex is not all that exciting and his effort to keep up the good work fades fast. If you don’t climax first, plan on walking away sexually frustrated. However if you practice going first, he will quickly follow. All that clenching of the vagina around his penis will finish him off perfectly.

Now if you are embarrassed by this topic that may be your vagina’s first problem. There is no reason to be shy or feel any shame. Sex is a wonderful thing and it’s best when you are achieving orgasm. The following are some of the reasons women don’t orgasm:

1) They put the partners needs first

2) Lack of knowledge of their body and how to climax

3) Embarrassed to orgasm in front of someone

4) Discomfort having sex with their partner

5) Lack of confidence and low self esteem

6) Trauma from past such as molestation or rape

7) They feel it takes too long to get to climax so why bother

8) Too tired from work, kids, family or stress

9) Faith or religious beliefs get in the way

These are valid reason but nonetheless hold women back from pleasure. Never make up excuses that lead to unhappiness in the bedroom. Don’t focus on why you can’t orgasm, focus on ways you will orgasm. Experiencing pleasure with your mate is one of the best parts of a relationship. Without it, why bother? The dishes, house-cleaning, raising kids and managing the bank accounts need some relief. My solution, HAVE SEX!!! A good way to keep yourself interested is to masturbate, explore your body, and learn what works for you. Work on finding a mate that you feel comfortable sharing your sexual needs with. Good chemistry is important. It is your responsibility to show your lover what works for you and try new things along the way to enhance your experiences.

I hope to encourage, inspire, and motivate women to put their sexual desires first. Believe me if you are satisfied in the sex department you will live a happier life. You will sleep better, feel healthier, have more energy, be more loving, and glow more than you ever have. Put your relationship first and make sure your needs are being met. Don’t let the negative, self-sabotaging thoughts stop your physical desires. If you need practice, or are single and want to warm up, buy a vibrator and get to it. I ask that you don’t always rely on a vibrator for stimulation as no man’s penis can compete with the sensation of AAA batteries. Mix it up so that your body can respond to flesh and toys.

Now I understand that abuse or fear may hold some of you back from enjoying sex. I would suggest you get help from a therapist so you can work towards being open to a loving and sexual relationship. I also know that accidents happen which change physical abilities in the bedroom; aging does too. Not all couples can have sex or want to. Sex is not for everyone. However, for the majority of women who are capable and wanting more satisfaction between the sheets, always set the standard to achieve the “BIG O” every time you do it. Don’t stop till you get enough! You deserve it and your man will be thrilled that you are enjoying the ride.

Angelism: “As hot and pretty as a groomed man can be, he should never take longer to get ready or be sexier & softer than me!”

Has anyone else noticed how incredibly groomed, soft, and emotional men have become? I have always found well trimmed, clean shaven, and fit men attractive, but how pretty do they need to be? A fancy man shows he is motivated to take care of himself and that he wants to live a healthy and long life; I can dig that. However the new obsession for men to pluck eyebrows, match clothes, buy shiny accessories, highlight their hair, sport fake tans, trim everything, get Botox and muscle implants, use man purses, and wear shoes with lifts in them is officially false advertising and is more vanity than I can handle. I get that we all want to look our best, but when a man is being waxed regularly and getting more manicures and pedicures than I am, it’s weird.

The man continues to evolve as years pass. Just a decade ago, before Ryan Seacrest and Justin Timberlake hit the scene with a metro sexy style, I thought men were way more tough, fun, and rugged. It seems I woke up one day and it was OK for men to cry, have feelings, go to therapy, and stop doing man things. When I was growing up a man would come home from a physical job, drive up in his dirty truck, go inside and kiss his wife, say hi to the kids, take out the trash, tend to the yard, feed the dog, and then crack open a beer and watch sports and hang out with the family. Today’s man leaves his all day desk job, hands a $20 to the valet guy in exchange for his tiny washed Prius, swaps out his work shirt for a fashionable plaid, then meets coworkers for happy hour where he claims he is networking but really he’s eating fancy food and ordering some foo-foo drink that the girls like while singing some old Bon Jovi song that plays on the jukebox. To complete his 6am-9pm day he comes home, sets his laptop and gym bag down, (because lunch break workouts are totally cool), heads straight to the restroom while texting his coworkers that he’s home safe, showers, brushes and flosses teeth, conditions his hair and then crawls in bed. He then kisses his wife and watches Desperate Housewives of Beverly Hills with her all while checking his Facebook and playing video games on his phone until he passes out. OMG!!!!

Maybe growing up watching Rambo, Terminator and Robocop gave me a false sense that men should be big, strong, dirty, intimidating, cool and rugged. I certainly didn’t imagine I would ever see men discussing designer jeans, their fear of being bald or fat, their interest in doing yoga instead of Pilate’s, and their preference for Starbucks lattes over Coffee Beans. Possibly I have lived in LA too long, the men here are quite fancy. Don’t assume that being a soft guy is bad. That is not what I am saying. However if you spend a lot of time primping, dieting, and worrying about your outfit and whether or not it works with what your wife is wearing, you may have lost your man card. Remember to compliment your woman rather than fish for compliments on how great your ass looks in them jeans. Fix the car when it’s broken, don’t send a lady to the mechanic. Set up the yard work contract if you don’t want to get your nails dirty and put out the mouse-traps and kill the damn spiders. Put together the kids toys and take out the trash. Lift some weights at the gym and maybe pass on the yoga and green tea addiction. I’m proud that men are flexible and they drink antioxidants but a man with a few calluses on his hands and a 5 o’clock shadow is hot. I like to know my man is smart enough to not create trouble but quick enough to throw a punch and protect me when the moment demands it.

So to all the soft men out there, please go do some man shit. In my house my dad replaced the oil, changed the tires, fixed the burnt out lights, painted the house, built furniture, maintained our garden and our hot tub, fixed the roof, and even organized his man tools; all while drinking a six pack of Budweiser. If you want to be treated like a man stop acting like a vagina. It’s OK to be a little metro and care more than the generations before, but be a sexy new kinda man who gets man shit done. Please only cry once or twice a year. I am all for the feminizing men but not at the loss of my handsome, protective, rough and tough dudes! I have a period every month, I get to cry, not you!

Month: May 2013