Who Are You & What Do You Want?

Angelism: be who you are and know THAT IT is enough.


Today I raise this question, “Who are you and what do you want?” Remove all the expectations others have of you and answer this for yourself. If you can answer with confidence, then you will be successful no matter what craziness gets thrown your way. Many people go decades without ever considering their wants. Some people settle in their seemingly comfortable and predictable life and never reassess the situation. You change and grow all the time. You learn everyday. If you are not changing and learning with some consistency then you are stuck. Even if you are totally happy in your routine, there is still room to do more to enhance your life. Never limit yourself. Your life will only be happy and interesting if you make it that way.

Who are you?

Do you have a positive or negative answer? If you are drawing a blank, pull it together. You should know the answer to this question. The answer should be your truth – not what you want it to be, but what your family and friends would agree that you are. It’s about owning your character and accepting who you are. Through acceptance you find unconditional love for yourself and others. How well do you know you?

My response to this question currently is:

I’m happy, a good companion, devoted friend, loving and accepting daughter, hard worker, a planner, a dreamer, organized and clean, hopeful, a woman of faith, a leader, a motivator, forgiving, creative, lucky, and fun! I am an emotionally connected individual with a crazy, outgoing, and youthful personality. I am loyal to a fault and have learned from this. I have a positive attitude, for every problem I welcome the opportunity to find a solution. I’m proud of who I am and  make every effort to work on my less appealing qualities.

Sometimes I tune people out when I think what they are saying is not important. In the past, I was more focused on my response in a conversation, rather than listening to it. This was a huge life lesson. I sadly can’t sit still when I’m at home because I can think of a million other things more productive that I should do. I have always struggled with my weight, and  I beat myself up because of my high expectations. I’m passionate about my beliefs and can come  across judgmental because of them. I complain when I shouldn’t, I’m a stubborn Taurus, and I get annoyed when things don’t go as planned. When I believe in something very strongly you can’t convince me otherwise. When I’m right in my head, I’m positively right, period. I own these qualities even though they are not my finest. This is who I am. The good and the bad. I’m not perfect but I’m confident that I know me.

Angelism: I’m not my job, my stuff, or my mistakes. I’m not my past or my misfortunes. I’m me and me is good enough!

What do you want?

Once you are confident in who you are, you then must answer; “What do you want?” Think hard about this. If there was every possibility that you could actually achieve what you want, what would it be?

For me I want: 

Health, wealth, love, happiness, quality friendships, independence, a loving relationship, and lots of time to travel. I want to be my own boss, I want to earn financial freedom, and I want to travel the world. I want to write creatively and be a success. I want to give back to the community and those less fortunate than me. I want to continue learning and hopefully live a long healthy life in which to do all these things. I trust in my heart I will get it, if not in this moment then someday. I have been blessed with health, love, happiness, good friends, some amazing travel adventures and a great companion. I have many of my wants and now my focus is financial security. I’m putting independent wealth on my request to the universe. Are you listing universe?

So again, I ask, “Who are you and what do you want?” Your answer may look shorter than this or it may take up multiple sheets of paper. Either way, you should be able to sit down with a pen and paper and answer these two questions thoroughly. In a year, or two, or three, the answer may change drastically. Know who you are and know what you want in each phase of life. Be confident in the answer and open to changing it as life moves on and takes twists and turns. 

Can You Stop Complaining for 21 Days?

Angelism: Complaining out loud expresses what you don’t like or want. life IS MUCH HAPPIER WHEN YOU spEAK positively and express what YOU do like and want. Be the POSITIVE change – STOP COMPLAINING!


Almost a decade ago I read the book A Complaint Free World and it was a huge wake-up call. To date, it is one of my favorite books and the message has truly stuck with me. Complaining is common and I’m often a receiver and a sender. Although I consider myself a happy, upbeat, positive person, I do catch myself complaining. I know I will never give up complaining 100%; I genuinely think that would be impossible. One reason I complain is for the entertainment value or simply to get what I want in the moment. Occasionally a little obnoxious verbiage is fun, and over-dramatizing topics once in a while makes a story even better! Overall, the clarity this book brought to me was the awareness of the constant, useless, serves-no-purpose, out-loud complaints, that none of us should waste our time on.  Here are some examples of common complaints that I still catch myself saying:

  • I have a headache
  • I’m tired
  • I have too much work
  • I hate the gym
  • Why can’t people do shit right
  • My cat is annoying
  • This remote never works for me
  • I’m bored
  • I’m cold/ hot
  • I hate this song
  • This driver is a maniac
  • Laundry blows
  • I don’t want to cook
  • I feel fat
  • I so need a diet
  • I can’t think
  • My day was awful
  • My hair is a fro
  • This show is stupid
  • My Internet is too slow
  • Damn cell phone
  • This line at this grocery store horrible
  • Why is everything so expensive
  • My knees hurt
  • I hate adulting

This useless out-loud chatter gives off bad vibes and creates negative energy. If any of you have read this book, or have seen Will Bowen (author) speak, then you know that the goal is to wear a purple bracelet or rubber-band around your wrist and every time you complain you have to switch the bracelet to the other wrist. I tried this forever ago and the  first day I got a bruise from swapping the bracelet so much. The goal is to go 21 days without complaining. This is a goal I never achieved but still strive to. It’s because of this book, I remain very aware of my words and the commentary around me. Making the shift to be more positive is difficult. Simply becoming more present to it is a step in the right direction. Now, I often catch myself apologizing to people in earshot of my wasteful negative words.

One of my favorite quotes: “If you don’t like something change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. Don’t complain. —MAYA ANGELOU”


Everyone should read this book. Ending negative chatter feels nice and creates a quiet space in your mind to think of words that have good intent. In the quiet moments you can analyze and replace your almost shared bad thoughts with more pleasant ones. Take the challenge and stop being a Debbie Downer today! The goal of this little book is to have a complaint free world. What a wonderful mission! 5/5 stars for me. More details can be found here.