Month: August 2013

I want women around the world to start taking ownership for their actions. I can’t stand to hear, “I accidentally got pregnant.” Last time I checked, pregnancy is no accident; it is a result of two people choosing to have sex. I don’t care that you used a condom and thought you were safe. If you read the label you know that condoms are not 100% effective, in fact they are considered only moderately effective. If you are trying to avoid pregnancy then you need to know the facts. It is your job to honor and respect your body and prevent this accident. IT’S YOUR JOB TO BE RESPONSIBLE. No blaming the existence of your child on a wild drunken night. Be knowledgeable on this topic and hold your partner accountable too. After all it takes two to tango! Now for my judgements:

1) For women who think an accidental pregnancy will bring you and your man closer together, SHAME ON YOU. Bringing a child into this world in the hopes to enhance or keep your relationship is purely selfish. If you do this, I disagree with you 100%. I feel sorry for your child and your man.

2) For women who don’t care if they do or don’t get pregnant and have sex with men with no consideration of what the man may want, SHAME ON YOU. Having casual sex with a man and not knowing where his level of interest is to be a father is disrespectful. You may think with or without a man you can raise a child, so who cares? That is true, however kids always like to know who their biological parents are and allowing a man to impregnate you without knowing if he is OK with being a father is unacceptable.

3) For women who get pregnant because they want to stay at home, raise a family, and no longer work, SHAME ON YOU. I guarantee you after a few years of being a stay-at-home mom you will re-think your decision. It is no walk in the park and you will crave adult interaction. The redundancy of day to day childcare along with household chores and family responsibilities will burn you out no matter how much you enjoy being domestic. If this is your family goal I think this setup is wonderful, but if you are having a baby “accidentally” to pressure your husband to be a stay at home wife, then you are awful!

4) For women who get pregnant so that the state can take care of them, SHAME ON YOU. Get your shit together and stop mooching off welfare. Knocking out babies for a paycheck is considered cheating the system. The money is not nearly as much as you’ll need to raise a child and send them to college so do something to better yourself. Get your life together, get a job, and set a good example.

5) For women who have children because they need love in their life and want somebody to love them unconditionally, SHAME ON YOU. Bringing a child into this world with a job to love you and help you feel more secure is disgusting.

6) For the women who carelessly go out and party, get drunk and have one-night stands, SHAME ON YOU. I am all for partying and having fun but your body and your future should take priority over a drunken, stupid night that knocks you up.

7) For every inexperienced, spoiled and rebellious teenager who thinks they know it all, who then goes out and gets pregnant to spite their parents or be cool in school, SHAME ON YOU. Now you have put pressure on many lives because you are a kid with a kid.

8) For all the women who have a child because their husband, parents, family, and friends pressured them into it, SHAME ON YOU. You should never be a mom if you do not have the absolute desire to be a mom. Since you can’t get pregnant on accident you can tell these people to piss off, you are not getting knocked up for them!

I want women to plan for having children and want them for the right reasons. So many children exist with no homes. Even worse, children live in broken homes because mom didn’t take control and plan a respectable life for herself and her children. Pregnancy should be honored and desired. Children will struggle enough growing up in today’s society with guns at school, challenging educational systems, issues with bullying, peer pressures to drink, do drugs and have sex, and difficulty making friends since we have become a society of 24 hour gossip and instant gratification. Everything is expressed via email and text constantly. Personal skills are vanishing and our future generations seem detached from emotion because they are zoned out on electronic stimulation from TV, Internet and video game violence. Parents need to be present with their children and be ready for the commitment that is required.

Ladies, wake up and be aware going forward that being responsible about pregnancy is your job. You may say, “What about the man? It’s his fault too!” I realize, he can get you pregnant, but you can prevent it. IT IS ALWAYS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY! If you could get him pregnant it would be his responsibility; that’s not how the birds and the bees work. Taking sex lightly is not OK. There are ways to prevent having a baby. I should know because I have yet to even have a scare and believe me I have had plenty of sex. Using the birth control pill is very, very effective. If taken as advised, everyday and on time you will not get knocked up. If you do then you fall in the 1% and that would be considered an accident. A condom, combined with the shot or pill, is best. This way you prevent pregnancy and STD’s. Spermicides used with a condom are also quite effective.

Know your facts, protect yourself, think and plan responsibly, and give birth to a child that is wanted. Even planned kids are faced with divorce, death, challenges and daily struggles. But how nice to know that you have a child that you wanted, not one you got stuck with. For percentages on birth control effectiveness check out this information on WebMD. It is your duty to act responsibly when it comes to sex and making babies.
http://www.webmd.com/sex/birth-control/ss/slideshow-birth-control-options

Behaving in the way I describe above gives women a bad name. These are selfish actions, often intentional, that bring a child into the world under a stressful environment. Women who get knocked up for any of those reasons do not deserve to be parents. Yes, there are truly accidental circumstances. A woman can have that random irresponsible one-night stand, have a child as a result of it, act responsibly, and be a great mom. For that, I’m proud you did the right thing. That positive end result does not change the fact that it’s not the best approach to having children and likely not a situation you will promote as you raise your child.

I’m not expressing this to make moms who made any of the choices I listed above feel bad. We all make mistakes. I don’t disrespect you if you took ownership for what you did. However with today’s openness and early education about sex, you can no longer blame pregnancy on an accident. Set an example for future generations and take responsibility. Stop playing the female victim. When unlikely things occur like pregnancy because of rape (which is awful), because he had a vasectomy and you thought it was safe (very unfortunate), you fail to take the pill properly (big oops), or possibly because you are completely uneducated in what the result of having sex is (sad but can happen)… These reasons account for a very small percentage of women and are not the target audience here. Even if these unlikely events occurred, abortion or the morning after pill are options.

Be better, do better, plan better!