Sad Day… Actor Alan Thicke Dead at 69 Years Old

Angelism: Enjoy every second you are gifted in this life, your last breath may be the one you are taking right now. 

My heart breaks a little today hearing this news. Alan Thicke, dead at 69 years of age, apparently was out playing hockey with his 19 year old son when he suffered from a heart-attack. Do you think when Alan left the house to go play with his son today that he had the thought by end of the day he’d be dead? He always looked great for his age, seemingly took good care of himself, and always appeared to be vibrant and full of energy. I simply can’t believe it!

I grew up with the show Growing Pains and Alan was one of my favorite TV dads. This show was on for many seasons, is in syndication still today, and launched a great many careers including Kirk Cameron and Leonardo DiCaprio. When I see it on TV, I always stop and enjoy the sweetness that this show/family portrayed. Life was very different then. It was simple yet equally as complicated when it comes to raising kids and working together as a family. Anyhow, I feel my generation just suffered a great loss. RIP Mr. Alan Thicke.
To read more on this check out these articles:

Discovering DNA

Angelism: Knowledge is power & knowing the details of your roots is amazing & eye opening. 

 
I was told I was a mut growing up and that was why I was beautiful. I wonder if my family hoped I’d never question all that was actually me. I definitely had curiosity over the years on how my mix came together. People along the way asked, “What nationality are you?” Truthfully I couldn’t quite put a finger on what I was. I’m not easily judged as any one nationality; showing up in this world with light eyes, dark wavy hair, freckles, tall, solid structure, curvy, physically strong, dominant nose, big eyes and large face; I appear to be many things. My Dad said on his side that I was 25% Italian, and 25% Spanish, and on my mom’s side, I was 25% Polish, some Portuguese and who knows what else? Having traveled to Spain and Italy I definitely felt a pull to those cultures. At 40, it was time to discover the truth.
Turns out, I really am a bit of a melting pot. A rainbow of colors on the map above which is exciting and shocking all at the same time. Being mostly European was expected, but this breakdown was news to me. I had no idea I was Balkan, French, and German, nor would I have thought that I had British or Irish in me.
I also did not foresee being Native American or East Asian. I knew I would have some African roots in me as we have always heard there was some Puerto Rican heritage on my mom’s side. I think it is an amazing thing to see this all mapped out down to each little DNA marker that makes up me.

 

I highly encourage that if you ever had any interest in knowing where your roots are from that you take one of these tests. I did the 23andMe.com DNA test that also reported on traits, wellness, and carrier status for certain health risks. I was so impressed with this report, that today I ordered a cancer gene test from getcolor.com because knowledge is power, and I want to know as much as I can.
My takeaway is that this explains my love for travel, and exploring a variety of things. My family history shows that we are movers, and I will assume we were willing to take risks and rebel once in awhile, as well as date outside of our race. It also explains why I have a love for so many types of food, and why I’m attracted to a variety of cultures, music, and lifestyles. My boyfriend took this test as well and he is much more of a purebred, 99.8% Northern European. He is my very white German, British, Irish, French and Scandinavian man. I love that my family history shook things up. Turns out I have cousins everywhere, and I think that’s exciting! Cheers to diversity, blending, and the melting pot that is the USA. Glad that this Trump wall wasn’t up 100+ years ago, none of my family would have made it over here. LOL!!!

Vince Vaughn Bald!

Angelism: Shaved heads are not always attractive. Think carefully about the shape of your head as well as your skintone. Don’t do anything stupid it may not grow back!

Today’s shocking and “heartbreaking” celebrity news is a bald Vince Vaughn. He looks completely different and not in a good way. I have always thought he was a handsome man, I have a thing for tall, dark haired dudes. But now? WOOF! I know this is for a role, and for a million or more bucks, I would probably go bald too. This unforgiving image is proof that bald isn’t for everyone!
My boyfriend Scott always threatens to shave his head. He claims it would be easier, save us money, and he would no longer have to waste those few minutes trying to fix it just right to cover up the balding that is happening with age. My only response is NO EFFIN WAY! I am not ready for this to happen. I am not prepared for the potentially scary bald man to lay next to me in bed. We are not that old!

Not sure how the rest of you ladies feel about the shaved head. Some guys can really rock it. Vince Vaughn however is not one of those guys, he needs to grow his hair back ASAP! Unless he is holding out for a serial killer role, this look does him no favors. If you can’t pull off a Bruce Willis, shaving your head completely bald is not worth the risk!

News Source:
http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2016/09/09/vince-vaughn-shaves-his-head-goes-completely-bald.html

I Believe…

Angelism: What you believe identifies your truth. Belief is as open or as limited as you allow it to be. Belief can change at any moment if you choose to think differently.

I believe that life is not fair. I am not owed anything nor should I expect anything.
I believe I should always leave loved ones with loving words, I never know if that will be my last goodbye.
 
I believe I don’t have to change friends to understand that friends can change.
I believe that it will take a long time to become the person I want to be.
I believe no matter how hard I love, I will be hurt. Forgive and move on is the only healthy option.
I believe that I am responsible for the opinions others have of me. I choose how much weight I give to those opinions.
I believe I can do something in one moment of time that will change the course of my life forever.
I believe I can keep going long after I think I can’t.
I believe either I control my attitude or my attitude will control me.
I believe that money is a shitty way to keep score in life.
I believe that I should not place value on my things. What I have today may be gone tomorrow.
I believe that I have the right to be angry, but that does not give me the right to be cruel.
I believe that no matter how sad I become, or how crushed my heart may be, the world will not stop for my grief.
I believe that maturity is a state of mind, one I can turn on and off when needed.
I believe that my upbringing influenced who I am, but I am responsible for who I become.
I believe two people can look at he exact same thing and see it completely different.
I believe I can have all the degrees in the world but that’s not what makes me a smart / good human.
I believe that a total stranger can have a huge impact on my life.
I believe that keeping secrets weighs heavy on the soul. I also believe discovering secrets weighs heavy on the soul.
I believe that sometimes the people I am closest to take the most advantage of my generosity.
I believe that life is a gift, one that I am grateful for even on the toughest of days.
I believe that getting old sucks! My days are numbered no matter how hard I fight to stay young.
I believe that often the people I least expect to show up for me do.
I believe that I must believe in myself if I want others to believe in me.
I believe that I will do what I feel has to be done regardless of the consequences.
I believe in the greater good but accept that evil exists among us.
I believe that organized religion is not the only way to practice faith. It is possible to have relationship with a higher power outside of the rules of church.
I believe that I will make mistakes and that I will learn from them.
I believe in the power of love and giving.
I believe that there is only one race and that is HUMAN. We are all HUMAN and that is why we are all more alike than different.
I believe that if you agree you should share this with your friends… XO

I Can’t Even….

Angelism: “I can’t even! I’m exercising my freedom of speech… #shitthatbugsme”

1) The News! Is this crap real anymore? The news can take a story and over exaggerate it into a Hollywood blockbuster. Weeks go by and the report the same stuff over and over. I don’t like to be depressed so eff you news! I’m sick of politics, I’m over shitty stories about shitty people doing shitty things, and I am very sick of shitty newscasters who seem clueless on the real issues. #fuckthenews

2) Phone Technology! If I hear one more person whine about having to wait for the new iPhone technology I may punch them. Get real people. It is a phone, it will provide the same functionality of your current phone, please chill the fuck out. You look like an idiot every time you camp out in front of the store for the newest model. Get a life! Care about something that matters! #technologyaddicts
3) Cable Service! I should say lack of service. For me I could care less about all the fancy packages and ridiculous fees. If you are going to charge me outrageous prices for the luxury of entertainment at home then you better offer good service too. That person who picks up the phone should speak clearly enough that I can do business with them. This never happens! #speakenglish
4) Food Labels! The food industry is clever. Quit promoting natural ingredients when your product is packed with sugar and sodium and contains fake vitamin additives. All natural is overused and a lie! The package may look healthy but read the ingredients because marketing is misleading and full of shit. I bet you can’t pronounce half of what you put in your mouth. #eatrealfood
5) Ungrateful People! The crap I witness makes me so disappointed in our society. Are you seriously bitching that your flight is late? You are on a plane! You will soon be moving at 500 miles per hour and that is amazing! Are you whining that your car is crap? Do you know how awesome it is to have a car that gets you from A-B? I’m so sorry, are you annoyed that your job sucks? Have you forgotten that someone else might do your job just as well and for less? Are you complaining that your kid won’t sleep? The alternative could be that your child never wakes up! Listen to the words you speak. The more you complain, the more all your friends and family will avoid you. #ungratefulasshole
6) Anti-Vaccinations! Did you learn nothing in school? Are you out of your fucking mind? Our forefathers spent decades trying to prevent and cure illness. They succeeded in many ways and eliminated illness from our environment. Just because we like to recycle fashion does not mean we should risk bringing back the measles, smallpox, and polio. Don’t be an fucktard! Get your kids vaccinated and prevent the outbreak of disease. Be more concerned about how ill your child will get from one of these severe diseases. There is a very slim chance of a bad reaction to a vaccine. This is simple people, it’s called SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY! #getvaccinated
7) Skinny Bitches! If you are a normal weight or thin quit complaining that you are fat. If you need attention and love that bad get a dog. It’s hard enough listening to women complain about their bad hair days, feeling bloated and ugly, or wishing they had love in their life, but when you are skinny and you whine that you are fat, fuck you! #skinnybitch
8) Every Kid Gets a Trophy! This kills me the most. How much failure are we setting kids up for by telling them how awesome they are every second and that they can do and be anything they want? When they grow up and realize their shit does stink, society will be screwed! The level of entitlement that is happening is off the charts. This topic needs it’s own blog so stay tuned because this non-realistic way of raising kids is just awful. #noteverykidsawinner
Hope ya gotta laugh out of this one. I sure did!

Shit Happens!

Angelism: “You are not above things going wrong in your life. Get over yourself & accept that shit happens & it’s OK.

Life is an interesting roller-coaster of highs and lows. Most people want love, happiness, and financial stability, yet so many people get lost in the stress of life and the instant gratification of negativity. People race through days allowing themselves to get overwhelmed by little things like a flat tire, a cell phone that breaks, or a pizza delivery that runs late. This proves to me that as Americans we are spoiled. People want more stuff and exciting new adventures. The focus is on what we want and the importance of having it a certain way rather than using our energy to appreciate life and its daily struggles. As Americans we are surrounded by so much greatness and opportunity, we are raised knowing that our dreams can become reality, however it’s important to keep in mind that SHIT WILL HAPPEN. The sooner we can accept that not everything will go our way, the happier life will be for all.

I’m always in awe at how stressed out a person can become over a computer that crashes, a remote control that dies, or a cell phone that breaks. I laugh when people roll their eyes in line at the grocery store as if their time is more important than the few people in front of them. Even more entertaining is when drivers flip people the bird all because they are shocked and bugged by having to share their public street space with someone they consider a horrible driver. Get over yourself!
We are all in a world experiencing life. People have the ability to dream and believe in perfection which can be our enemy. We have the need for more things to prove our success and establish our importance. Many people run around with built up negative energy, complaining about anything and everything that doesn’t go as expected because we want to control our dream for a perfect environment. We get flustered every time a little shit happens. I truly believe that real strength and intelligence comes from the people who accept that all that can happen, will happen, some good and some bad. You may be annoyed that your car broke down, but why wouldn’t it? It’s a car, it can fail. Do you think you are more deserving than others, and that your vehicle should always run perfectly and someone else should have to deal with car trouble instead? Are you above shit happening to you?
I’ve learned that not all days are fair and some good days turn bad just by taking a call or reading an email. I’ve spent the last decade trying to embrace shit happening. When things start to go opposite of the way I want them to, I start creating a plan to fix it. I do vent, stress, get annoyed and wish things were different, but a full on meltdown and “poor me, I’m a victim” attitude is never my route. When I see that shit is happening I grab an ass-wipe and start cleaning it up. The other option is to sit in the shit and be miserable which may be worth it for some but not for me. Next time shit happens in your life, I hope you see the bright side of the crap and process it nicely.

Throw Away Your Vitamins!!!

Angelism: “A healthier you doesn’t come in an over the counter bottle. Stop being fooled by the media, if you are concerned about your health, go to the doctors & have your blood drawn. There, you will find answers.”

I rarely discuss health topics but vitamins and over the counter weight loss pills are crap! Much like many of you, I believed in bottled nutrients and thought they were the key to good health. In my early 20’s I used to take anti-oxidants for immunity, papaya and garlic for good digestion, and fat burners to boost my metabolism. I assumed I’d be healthier, trimmer, and lose weight, all while maintaining energy. What a waste! Now that I work in the medical field I have learned more about nutrition and how the body works. If there is one thing that has been drilled into my head, it is that vitamins are a waste of money and that taking them may do more harm than good.

Now don’t assume all vitamins are bad. Over the counter vitamins do have a purpose. They exist to replenish a nutrient in your body that you are deficient in. How do you know if you are deficient? Go to the doctor’s office and have your labs drawn. If your lab work proves you are deficient then you can take a supplement per the doctor’s orders; if not don’t waste your money. Never diagnose yourself. Your answers to better health will likely not be found in an expensive bottle at the local health food store.

Marketing thrives on informing us that certain vitamins are healthy and will enhance our life. Yes, getting your daily vitamins is important, but this does not mean you need to physically take supplements. In today’s society, food is easily accessible and nutrients are sprinkled into even the unhealthiest of foods. Many of us are nowhere near a deficiency in any one vitamin. The crappiest of breakfast cereals have powdered nutrients in it, and those high fructose corn syrup beverages many Americans drink are doused in vitamin C. Why would you need to take more vitamins? When is the last time you have known of someone having scurvy? Deficiencies are rare. If you eat enough food daily and have a variety of foods in your diet, you are not going to need supplements. If you are concerned, get your blood drawn at your doctor’s office and verify that you are OK.

As for all the other supplements available like Acai Berry pills, Green Tea Extract pills, and other fat burners and over the counter diet pills; I think they are not healthy and a waste of money. There is no answer or quick fix to health and weight loss. If you want to be healthier, look and feel better, then guess what? You will have to work hard to achieve it. Diet and exercise on a regular basis throughout your ENTIRE LIFE is key. Every day it has to be an awareness and a choice. Every day you have to want to be good to your body and take care of it. Health is not something you can buy, it is something you have to earn all on your own!

Disconnected

Angelism: “When you are out spending time with someone you have that moment to be present with your company. Human interaction is a real thing so put your cell phone down & experience it!”

Before cell phones and laptops, I used to get offended when couples sat at dinner together reading the newspaper or a book. I never understood why they were not engaging with one another or even enjoying the moment they were in. That was back in the 90’s. Today, ignoring the people you are with is common. Tables of 2-10 people, get together to hang out and eat, all while using their cell phones the entire time. Am I the only person who thinks this is awful? If you want to go out to dinner with someone, go out to dinner with them and only them. Engage with that person and experience a meaningful exchange in that moment. If you want to go to dinner with your phone then do so alone and simply text the people you thought you wanted to dine with in person.

Another thing lately that makes me crazy is the constant use of cell phones at work. Last time I checked when I was growing up, jobs did not allow us to bring TVs, cameras, video games, phones, and boom boxes to our 8 hour shift. A cell phone is now all of these things. How is it that we have evolved to a time where employees think it’s OK to Youtube videos for instant entertainment and chat all day via text with friends, while employers sit back and allow it? The attention span and awareness of people in our new fast past, technology driven world, is almost non-existent. We have had technology long enough that now people can’t remember life without it. Cell phones are our most prized possession and our most used accessory. Sadly it keeps people distracted from work, socializing, being productive in life, and most importantly – time with family.

I do not think the obsession with technology will ever change. We have been transformed and I believe it will only get worse. People will feel connected through being disconnected. Human interaction will no longer be valued and the importance of our existence will be placed on how many likes a picture gets and how many emoji’s a friend sends to express their love. People will not have the patience to sit through a movie at home without playing on their laptop and checking their cells.

Technology will slowly turn our brains to mush. We won’t engage for hours verbally nor appreciate quality time because our brains will be on constant overload surfing through the Internet for what to do next. We will become data entry specialists, simply loading details in our phones and using it as a tool to tell us where to go, what to do, and what birthday wish to send. Needing to know a phone number or address other than your own is now unnecessary. Paying attention to where you are going or memorizing places that a decade ago was important, is no longer needed thanks to Google maps and navigation systems. Our future with technology means that we will be turned on and off like a switch, and our brain’s memory function will all be stored for us in our smart phone.

As much as I love technology and am guilty of doing some of the things above that I think are ridiculous, I am curious to see how our lives evolve a decade from now. I doubt technology will enhance our intelligence or our social skills. I assume the future generations will not be able to comprehend life without a cell phone alerting them where to be, how to live, and what days are special. It breaks my heart to think that my nieces and nephews will be asked out on dates and told, “I love you,” for the first time over text or social media. Time will tell how much technology will advance or damage our humanity…. #veryscared

Getting Knocked Up Is No Accident

Angelism: “With as much information as we have available to us, there is no way you can blame an accident for getting knocked up. Either you were safe & prevented it or you didn’t.”

 

I want women around the world to start taking ownership for their actions. I can’t stand to hear, “I accidentally got pregnant.” Last time I checked, pregnancy is no accident; it is a result of two people choosing to have sex. I don’t care that you used a condom and thought you were safe. If you read the label you know that condoms are not 100% effective, in fact they are considered only moderately effective. If you are trying to avoid pregnancy then you need to know the facts. It is your job to honor and respect your body and prevent this accident. IT’S YOUR JOB TO BE RESPONSIBLE. No blaming the existence of your child on a wild drunken night. Be knowledgeable on this topic and hold your partner accountable too. After all it takes two to tango! Now for my judgements:

1) For women who think an accidental pregnancy will bring you and your man closer together, SHAME ON YOU. Bringing a child into this world in the hopes to enhance or keep your relationship is purely selfish. If you do this, I disagree with you 100%. I feel sorry for your child and your man.
2) For women who don’t care if they do or don’t get pregnant and have sex with men with no consideration of what the man may want, SHAME ON YOU. Having casual sex with a man and not knowing where his level of interest is to be a father is disrespectful. You may think with or without a man you can raise a child, so who cares? That is true, however kids always like to know who their biological parents are and allowing a man to impregnate you without knowing if he is OK with being a father is unacceptable.
3) For women who get pregnant because they want to stay at home, raise a family, and no longer work, SHAME ON YOU. I guarantee you after a few years of being a stay-at-home mom you will re-think your decision. It is no walk in the park and you will crave adult interaction. The redundancy of day to day childcare along with household chores and family responsibilities will burn you out no matter how much you enjoy being domestic. If this is your family goal I think this setup is wonderful, but if you are having a baby “accidentally” to pressure your husband to be a stay at home wife, then you are awful!
4) For women who get pregnant so that the state can take care of them, SHAME ON YOU. Get your shit together and stop mooching off welfare. Knocking out babies for a paycheck is considered cheating the system. The money is not nearly as much as you’ll need to raise a child and send them to college so do something to better yourself. Get your life together, get a job, and set a good example.
5) For women who have children because they need love in their life and want somebody to love them unconditionally, SHAME ON YOU. Bringing a child into this world with a job to love you and help you feel more secure is disgusting.
6) For the women who carelessly go out and party, get drunk and have one-night stands, SHAME ON YOU. I am all for partying and having fun but your body and your future should take priority over a drunken, stupid night that knocks you up.
7) For every inexperienced, spoiled and rebellious teenager who thinks they know it all, who then goes out and gets pregnant to spite their parents or be cool in school, SHAME ON YOU. Now you have put pressure on many lives because you are a kid with a kid.
8) For all the women who have a child because their husband, parents, family, and friends pressured them into it, SHAME ON YOU. You should never be a mom if you do not have the absolute desire to be a mom. Since you can’t get pregnant on accident you can tell these people to piss off, you are not getting knocked up for them!
I want women to plan for having children and want them for the right reasons. So many children exist with no homes. Even worse, children live in broken homes because mom didn’t take control and plan a respectable life for herself and her children. Pregnancy should be honored and desired. Children will struggle enough growing up in today’s society with guns at school, challenging educational systems, issues with bullying, peer pressures to drink, do drugs and have sex, and difficulty making friends since we have become a society of 24 hour gossip and instant gratification. Everything is expressed via email and text constantly. Personal skills are vanishing and our future generations seem detached from emotion because they are zoned out on electronic stimulation from TV, Internet and video game violence. Parents need to be present with their children and be ready for the commitment that is required.
Ladies, wake up and be aware going forward that being responsible about pregnancy is your job. You may say, “What about the man? It’s his fault too!” I realize, he can get you pregnant, but you can prevent it. IT IS ALWAYS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY! If you could get him pregnant it would be his responsibility; that’s not how the birds and the bees work. Taking sex lightly is not OK. There are ways to prevent having a baby. I should know because I have yet to even have a scare and believe me I have had plenty of sex. Using the birth control pill is very, very effective. If taken as advised, everyday and on time you will not get knocked up. If you do then you fall in the 1% and that would be considered an accident. A condom, combined with the shot or pill, is best. This way you prevent pregnancy and STD’s. Spermicides used with a condom are also quite effective.
Know your facts, protect yourself, think and plan responsibly, and give birth to a child that is wanted. Even planned kids are faced with divorce, death, challenges and daily struggles. But how nice to know that you have a child that you wanted, not one you got stuck with. For percentages on birth control effectiveness check out this information on WebMD. It is your duty to act responsibly when it comes to sex and making babies.
http://www.webmd.com/sex/birth-control/ss/slideshow-birth-control-options
Behaving in the way I describe above gives women a bad name. These are selfish actions, often intentional, that bring a child into the world under a stressful environment. Women who get knocked up for any of those reasons do not deserve to be parents. Yes, there are truly accidental circumstances. A woman can have that random irresponsible one-night stand, have a child as a result of it, act responsibly, and be a great mom. For that, I’m proud you did the right thing. That positive end result does not change the fact that it’s not the best approach to having children and likely not a situation you will promote as you raise your child.
I’m not expressing this to make moms who made any of the choices I listed above feel bad. We all make mistakes. I don’t disrespect you if you took ownership for what you did. However with today’s openness and early education about sex, you can no longer blame pregnancy on an accident. Set an example for future generations and take responsibility. Stop playing the female victim. When unlikely things occur like pregnancy because of rape (which is awful), because he had a vasectomy and you thought it was safe (very unfortunate), you fail to take the pill properly (big oops), or possibly because you are completely uneducated in what the result of having sex is (sad but can happen)… These reasons account for a very small percentage of women and are not the target audience here. Even if these unlikely events occurred, abortion or the morning after pill are options.
Be better, do better, plan better!

I Wish Food Sucked!

Angelisms: “Life would be grand if steamed broccoli & carrots tasted as wonderful as double fudge cake with ice cream.”

If you follow my blogs, you know that I am no skinny-minnie. I am tall, curvy and soft and work my ass off at the gym. I have earned my girly figure by exercising harder than most thin and fit people. The benefit of all this exercise is I maintain a healthy, full, slightly overweight figure with some shape; not a fat, bouncy, blob-like body. If I don’t work out regularly, there is no doubt in my mind that I would have a big weight problem. I have fought this most of my life and I accept it. I am genetically challenged when it comes to being super fit and if vegetables tasted nearly as great as cheesecake, my journey to maintain a healthy weight would not be so complicated. Food is good, I love to eat, I always have. I like the taste of food and since I love my food hot, I tend to eat fairly fast. I appreciate many categories of food: Japanese, Chinese, Italian, Mexican, Indian and Thai, only name a few. This interest in many kinds of food does not work in my favor when trying to diet.
As if life isn’t hard enough it turns out all crap food tastes way better than all healthy food. This pisses me off. As much as I hate to complain and be negative, when it comes to managing my weight, I have real beef with the man upstairs. Many of you already know this stuff, but for shits and giggles, I will review the challenges of being a woman. For all you skinny bitches who can’t relate, laugh and be thankful you can eat whatever you want and still wear a size zero. For any of you sporting a spare tire or two, who work-out often and diet and struggle like me, enjoy every second of my rant:
“I carry around extra weight through my hips and thighs and no matter how many miles I run, how many stairs I climb, or how many pounds I lose, the extra weight stays there. I lug around boobs that have to weigh about five pounds each. Not sure what D size breasts equal in numbers, but they are not light weights to carry. Hell, I should have a ripped back just for pulling my boobs upright every day. No such luck! I have a bit of a muffin top (AKA spare tire), which I can’t figure out. I have done more sit-ups than days I have been alive and I still have a soft tummy. That is the truth people, I track this shit and it’s UN-FUCKING-BELIEVABLE that I still have chub of any kind in this area. What really blows my mind is I have been doing arm weights for over six years and no matter how many arm machines I do, my arm skin still looks slightly loose as if I don’t actually work them out at all. Solid underneath when I flex, but soft on the outside to the eyes of those around me. So unfair! On top of this, as a woman, I suffer from PMS that sneaks up on me monthly. Since this is my female blessing, the comfort I seek, the only comfort, is Ben and Jerry’s Cookie Dough ice cream. I am sure many of you will agree that the one scoop that equals a serving size, is never enough to satisfy. I prefer to eat the entire tub. Sad thing is that tub is about a full day’s worth of calories and there is no way in hell that will be all I eat in a day. DAMMIT! Carbs are evil, fat is the devil, and everything that tastes memorable goes straight to my ass!”
I hope I’m not the only one who feels this. I know mentally that overeating is bad for me. Maybe if I only had a period once a year, I could survive my crazy cravings that push me to overeat and indulge in crap as satisfying as a damn Oreo cookie cake. Multiple sugar and salt cravings every month with my menstrual cycle is a big fucking curse. A man faces none of this. Waking up with a hard on in your 30’s and 40’s, and having a beer belly because you drink every night when you sit your fat ass on the couch and watch TV is hardly what I consider a set-back. Going out with and extra set of tits on my back and cottage cheese on my thighs that is visible through my yoga pants and khakis is not cool. The worse part is, not only do I crave something as yummy as a chocolate shake from McDonald’s, but I want the extra salty french fries to go with it. Knowing this, saying it out loud and now writing it, makes me feel like a complete moron. Intellectually there is no excuse, my cravings should be controlled, and food should be looked at as an energy source only. Food solely as an energy source sounds awful! Sorry, when I am hungry and I have the option of a glass of water, tofu and vegetables or some beer, extra cheesy bacon mac and cheese and fried chicken, we all know which one is actually going to go in my mouth.
So I am back to, “I wish food sucked!” Life would be much easier if bad food did not exist. For those of you who can eat all you want and stay the same weight, “I secretly hate you!” Ha ha! I don’t really hate you but it felt good to say that. For all of you who can relate to me, I feel your pain. I wake up every day knowing that if I want dinner followed by a delicious dessert, I will be spending a minimum of an hour on the treadmill the next morning. I don’t, and won’t, ever deprive myself of delicious foods. For me it’s, “Exercise of be Fat,” and since I like to eat, the gym has become my best friend. I don’t know how to start a day without a workout. I don’t promote a chip guzzling, cookie crunching, butter overdosing lifestyle, where you eat whatever you want and join a gym to make your reckless eating habits OK. That is not my point. I do make healthy choices 75% of the time. I count my calories most days and I like nutritious foods. I make the effort to keep a fridge and pantry stocked with good for me stuff. I pay attention to what I eat and make sure it offers the nutritional value that my body needs. I buy organic and fresh foods which are helpful since my ability to portion control is nonexistent. Because I make an effort to eat right a majority of the time, I don’t deprive myself of splurging here and there on delicious foods that keep me full-figured.
I can’t say it enough, “I wish food sucked!” At least if all food tasted plain and boring, I would eat only for the purpose of refueling and survival. If celery sticks satisfied me the same way a Butterfinger did at the movies, I would not have to sweat for what feels like forever at the gym. It blows that I have to work-out hard to have some mouth watering pleasures. I think it’s an unnecessary evil. It’s obviously not going away so I accept it and keep plugging at my goal to lose fifteen pounds this year. I am only about three pounds down, so I have to get cracking.
PS: The first person who can invent a nutrition packed bowl of carrots, peas and beans that taste like a tub of Ben and Jerry’s Cake Batter Ice Cream will truly be a zillionaire. I will buy stock in it for sure!