Happy Valentine’s Day

Angelism: “Love comes in many forms. Always love yourself first so that you can be open to love others. Welcome love in your life, for when it’s real it can truly help you evolve into a better person.” 
In the spirit of Valentine’s Day I want to celebrate love. Not just my love for a significant other, but the love that that I share with family, friends, children, neighbors, Facebook buddies, coworkers, pets, and all who are dear to my heart. I always say, my religion is love. I can’t imagine life without it. 
For some of you, this may not be a Valentine’s Day filled with wine, food, long stem roses, and love poems. There is nothing wrong with that. Instead share your love with people you appreciate and are grateful for. All of us are still kids inside who love a sweet treat or card from someone who cares. If you wish to receive love, think first about how you are giving it. If you have a lover, love them even more today. Set aside any resentments, eliminate negative thoughts, and show your lover on Valentine’s Day some unconditional love. Whining about not getting gifts from your partner or punishing them for a lack of effort will kill any possibility of a special day. If you are feeling lonely or desperate stop now. Being single is a wonderful thing. Take the day to love yourself. Buy yourself some flowers, go to a spa or get some of your favorite chocolates. Plan quality time with a friend, family member or coworker. Get yourself out there and share the special day positively. If you are in limbo because you sort of have a date, but you’re not sure since it may just be a bootie-call, then I beg of you to get your head out of you ass and get it together. If you have a shady lover in your life, and you don’t know by now if they want to spend Valentine’s Day with you, then guess what? They don’t want to spend Valentine’s Day with you. Make other plans! Don’t sit by the phone, wait by the door, or stalk your favorite hang-out, hoping to hear from a Valentine. Move on and celebrate Valentine’s Day with those who are deserving of your love and attention. 
Happy Valentine’s Day to all of you. May your day be full of LOVE! 

My Time of the Month SUCKS!

Angelism: “Whoever invented the female period is an asshole!”

I assume you know exactly what I am talking about when I say, “My time of the month SUCKS!” Most women have this in common for about 40+ dreadful years. Every month I get a visit and if I didn’t I’d shit my pants as my life would change forever; kids are not in my plan. If you are at all confused, I’m referring to my monthly period. The awful weeklong bloodbath in my pants is also known as: Aunt Flow, The Rag, Shark Week, The Dreaded Dragon, TOM (time of month), The Crimson Wave, The Bloody Mary, In Heat, The Curse, and lastly but most classy, Riding the White Pony. All very sexy don’t you think? I never realized how quickly 21 days can go by until day 21 creeps up on me, leaving me so bloated the buttons on my pants feel pressure to rip open, and my boobs can barely be stuffed into my roomiest of bras. Going up an entire cup size overnight the day or two before my period sucks! Great for my boyfriend, he thinks it’s awesome, however during this time I want him to stay as far away as possible since my boobs feel like a pile of bricks. I shove myself in a bra and pray to not have a tri-tit explosion out of the top of my shirt as it would be highly inappropriate at work. Finish these symptoms off with stabbing cramps, gas, zits, the shits, and an overall hormone and odor change, and YUM, I think that’s a recipe for a great date night? NOPE! Time to cancel my plans. FML!!! 
My crankiness aside, having a period in my opinion is truly a curse. PMS and everything that goes with it is awful. We go an average of four decades dealing with this shit, keeping the maxi pad and tampon industry in business, just for the option to have children. It’s feeling unfair to me, especially since I don’t want kids. As much as I respect our higher power, I’m not sure what God was smoking when he put this plan in place. Clearly he had too much wine that night and was very upset with women. The average American family has something like 2.6 kids. Hmmm, so you get to tough through a period every month for 40+ years to be pregnant for maybe two or three years of your life? Even if it takes you a few tries to get knocked up, even back in the day when we didn’t live as long… 40 years of baby making potential?!?! Eff you! This process is proof that the female body a fucking machine. Screw hunting and building a house boys; a woman is a super-human, baby making machine for four decades, bleeding a week straight for 12 weeks out of every year, all with the potential to nourish life with our big fat boobies! Top that bullshit! 

Maybe the PMS hormone imbalances that lead to a woman’s crazed moments truly are to make men insane. If that’s the case then great, something has to wake them up to experience the hell we face on a bad cramp day. Shit gets done when Shark Week arrives or somebody dies! I think many of you know exactly where I’m coming from on this. Please tell me I’m not alone!!!

Surviving the Race

Angelism: “Every step in life has its moment. It might be your first step, your last, your easiest step or your most challenging one. Whether it is a step up, step down, or a step to the side, no matter what kind of step, enjoy what it brings to your story. Every step you take is a memory that shapes your personal journey in life.” 
Life has challenges every day. Many challenges we take on to prove something to ourselves that we were not sure was possible. Back in the fall, one of my best-friends since high-school signed up for a half marathon. I instantly thought she was crazy. When she called to share the news I got excited for her but still thought she had no clue what she was getting herself into. This friend of mine, who rarely asks me for anything, insisted that I help motivate her. She knew I worked out regularly and wanted me to hold her accountable. Wanting to be there for her I said, “Yes!” I even offered to train with her. She was thrilled and sent me the run schedule. I was officially in for 12 weeks of torture!
Now, I live in Los Angeles and my friend resides in Houston. My promise to her was to train with her side by side so we could tackle the workout plan together. I knew this was a promise I would soon regret, but I wanted to stay committed. Having attempted to train for a half marathon in my past, I knew she would start to feel defeated around the 8-10 mile mark. This meant I had to stay strong especially at the end. After a few weeks of training I had a crazy idea. I thought how great it would be if I could fly out there and do this with her. From that point on, I worked to figure out a way to get to Houston and spend this memorable event with her.
Luckily her husband was on board with this idea, as well as my boyfriend and another dear friend of ours. We agreed it would be a surprise, she would be clueless, and we would give her the shock of her life. Scared the secret would be exposed, we kept it on the down-low from our friends and family. Successfully keeping it hush-hush, we arrived the Friday before the race and she had no idea anything was up. I pretended to be at work texting her about my stressful day, when all along I was really eating lunch with her hubby down the street from her office in Houston. We decided we would hide in her closet when she got home. When she drove up we took our place in the dark closet like little kids playing hide and go seek. She came in the house after a long day at work, she went to her closet to change (thinking her hubby was taking her out to dinner), and BAM! There the three of us were, screaming and running out of the closet to surprise her and support her on her special day. She was shocked!!! She put her hands over her face and cried – we cried, we laughed, she asked questions, and we cried some more. When the shock wore off we hugged, we jumped for joy, we acted like kids and we all agreed that moment will forever be a highlight in our life. This experience reminded me how important it is to do things like this for those you love. Life is all about moments and when you can have one that feels this good, an instant feeling of raw emotion that creates a warm and fuzzy feeling inside your heart, it is worth all the effort to make it happen. We were all floating on a cloud of happy.
Now that the fun of the surprise was over, we had to face the race. Sunday morning was brutal. We were up at 4am, we spent an hour in the car driving to the race location, and then we weaseled our way through the thousands of people to get ready for the half marathon. Our nerves were at an all time high. We had sweaty palms and goosebumps because we wanted so badly to do well. We were scared to death at how hard the next few hours would be. We heard the stories of people passing out, throwing up, peeing themselves, and tripping and scraping up their bodies. We knew that a rash in the bra and crotch area was likely as were blisters on our feet. Through the fear we had one main goal: TO FINISH THE RACE! Our second goal: TO NOT STOP RUNNING! I am thrilled to report: “MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!” We came in under the 12 minute mile goal we set for ourselves and we never stopped running once. We were overwhelmed with gratitude to have accomplished this challenge together. We crossed that finish line and the tears poured out as the leg pain set in. We did it! 13.1 miles complete!
I learned that committing to push yourself harder than you ever have before is very frightening. The doubt, fear and pain that creeps up in your head while you run for hours on end is a mental mind-fuck every step of the way. The will and motivation to finish is there but the desire to give up and quit haunts you. Neither of us wanted to let each other down, so we both pushed hard not just for ourselves but for each-other. I am blessed that we survived the race in one piece. I am more blessed that I have a friend who has been with me in every step of my life. This race represented to me that no matter how many steps I take in life, no matter how hard my challenges get, or how scared I am to do the things I want to do, I am not alone. Our commitment to get through life together will always be there. Thank you BFFF!!! And thank you NIKE for shoes that stood the test of time!!!

 

Needed a Break!

Angelism: “Need a break? Take a break. Only you can know when you must slow down.” 

It has been a long time since my last post. Life took a few twists and turns, many that I was not expecting but I welcomed the change. Needless to say I began using my skills 40 hours a week at a desk job which officially lead to writers block. I lost touch on Angelisms, quit checking in with my Facebook following, shut down my Myspace page (I think everyone has done that by now LOL!), and basically lost interest in blogging. In the back of my head I always knew I would get back to writing. I simply needed to focus on my new work projects, take time to travel, spend quality time with my friends and family and well, do anything but blog. With it being a new year, I am ready to make my comeback tour and start sharing again as I have missed it. At what speed I will post who knows but we shall see how it goes.
I don’t know how 2012 was for all of you but it flew by for me. It seems the older I get the quicker the holidays go. It felt like one day I was cooking a Thanksgiving feast and the next day I was taking down holiday decorations and making New Years resolutions. I decided this year that Christmas is only fun and magical for children, the adults who have children, and grandparents. If you don’t get to play Santa and make a child’s wishes come true, I officially think it’s more work than it’s worth. During the holidays there is so much going on; the holiday parties, the gift buying and making time to give the gifts, the cards to send out to everyone you know as well as those who send you one that you were not expecting, making sure you don’t offend anyone by leaving them off a guest list, and being extra sensitive as the holidays bring out people’s crazy emotions. IT CAN BE OVERWHELMING! This extra workload kinda made me say, “The hell with Christmas!” Now I came to this commentary after Christmas when I had only $5 bucks in my checking account and I had gained seven pounds in 30 days. I think my Grinch-like attitude may have more to do with feeling fat, lazy and broke. Getting fat is another depressing struggle during the “be merry” season. Next December, I want to be a kid! Kids don’t think about their waistline when they are eating their third slice of pie for the day. Needless to say, I am glad the holidays are behind me and I can start fresh; like on a treadmill with a paycheck I get to keep! 
For those of you that might read this after all my time away, I want to wish you a very happy 2013. My hope is that it is a good year for all. May it also be free of stupid people crossing my path on a daily basis. 🙂

Kids & Adults Today

Angelism: “Never underestimate the power of the question WHY? Spend one hour with a 3 year old engaging with them non-stop and you may begin to think you have lost your mind.”

Ever notice that everything an adult asks of a child, the kid does the opposite? I have realized it’s impossible to reason with youngsters. I don’t have my own children to compare this to, however I have spent a lot of time working with kids. I helped raise a few in my family, babysat in my younger years and have worked part-time as a nanny. Most of my observations come from everyday life. It’s fascinating to observe kids doing the exact opposite of what adults request of them. When you tell them to do something or stop doing something, be prepared for the question “WHY?” to follow. Every answer you give them will not be good enough and will be followed up with “WHY?” Before you know it your head will be spinning.

Here are some of my examples. I’m sure many of you parents will relate. Is there a logical explanation for this behavior? My conclusion is that kids are here to test your patience in every way possible regardless of how good you are to them.
 
Bedtime: You ask a child to go to bed and they say, “No, I want to stay up for 10 more minutes.” That 10 minutes turns into 20, which turns into 30, which is really just a way for them to get your attention every 10 minutes for the last hour of bedtime. When you tell them for the last time to go to get their butt in bed they ask “WHY?”
Washing hands: You tell a child to wash up and they may run a finger or two from one hand under the water. They show up at the table with that finger or two still wet and swear that they washed their hands even though they are still filthy. When you ask them to wash them again they ask “WHY?”
Taking a shower: You expect your little one to shower and get cleaned up, they turn on the shower, stand under the water for 10 minutes, never touch the soap or shampoo but assure you they are perfectly clean. When you ask them to soap up and get clean they ask “WHY?”
Doing homework: You have them sit down after school to do homework and what should take an hour, they somehow finish in 10 minutes. Kids often fill in the answers with a bunch of numbers and words that have no relevance to the assignment but it looks done and that’s all they care about. They assure you the teacher won’t mind but the mess they created is all because they refuse to read directions because all they can think about is playing. When you tell them to re-do it they ask “WHY?”
Putting clothes in the hamper: I don’t care how many times you ask a kid to use the hamper you will always walk in their room to find the clothes on the floor. When you tell them to put the clothes in the hamper for a third time they ask “WHY?” and claim they will do it later.
 
Throwing out trash: Wrappers, papers, bottles and any other thing that is trash will end up in places you don’t want it. A child would rather leave their trash in your car or purse then take it with them to throw out. You tell them to pick up their stuff and throw out their own trash and they ask “WHY?”
Watching television: It is impossible to get a child away from the TV. When they are glued to a program you could say the house is on fire or a superhero is at the front door and they would not budge nor look away from the TV. If you tell them, “It’s an emergency!” they will ask “WHY?”
Noise level: A child has no sense of quiet or how to remain quiet for the sake of others. Their volume is always at the level of screaming and yet they expect you to listen to them when they never listen to you. You request that they be quiet so their little sibling can fall asleep and instead of respecting that request they ask “WHY?” and go right back to screaming.
Telling the truth: Truth is not an option. It is the job of the adult on duty to play investigator. All kids lie about everything – Where they were, what they were doing, who they were with and so on. Researching and interrogating is the only way to ever know anything. When you express to them that their story doesn’t make sense and you don’t believe they are telling you the truth they say, “WHY?”
Meals: All kids are picky about food. They want only what they like and half the time you make what they want and that isn’t good enough. At dinner all they can talk about is dessert. A kid will never be hungry enough for dinner but is always starving and screaming for dessert. Watch out if you have a dog because it’s likely the dog is getting more nutrients from the meal than your child. If you tell them to finish their dinner or they get no dessert expect them to ask “WHY?”
Shopping: If you need to shop for adult stuff, you must bargain with your child to get them to go. Then you are challenged with getting them to behave well and stay calm during the time you need to run your errands. However if it’s shopping for them, (Toys R Us for example), what’s in that for you? Absolutely nothing but an empty wallet and a child who can’t make up their mind because there are too many toys to choose from. You tell your child to pick one toy and they say, “WHY? I want all three.”
Toys: It is impossible for a child to appreciate a toy for longer than a week. You buy these plastic pieces of junk against your will and after the thrill is over you have more trash in your house. You tell your kids to respect their toys and they break them or sometimes lose them on purpose so they can get new ones. If you tell them they will not get a replacement toy you will get a big fat “WHY?” in return.
 
Brushing teeth: This is much like washing hands. I think the toothbrush is what really gets clean. It gets toothpaste, gets dipped in water, then has smeared toothpaste on it, then gets rinsed. I think kids believe that since they put the toothbrush in their mouth and tasted toothpaste for a second then the job is done. I’m shocked kids even have teeth since they put so little effort into brushing. If you tell them to brush harder and better they say, “WHY?”
Personal details: You tell your children some family matters are private and should remain in your own home. Out of the blue your in-laws call you wondering why you and your husband are fighting so much in front of the kids. Way to go kids! Sharing fight details with grandma because Dad came home late totally wasted which worried me is none of their business. When you tell your kid they did something wrong and should not share that personal information with family ever again they ask “WHY?”
These are a few things that kids and parents/adults can’t agree on. Did I miss anything? Don’t get me wrong, kids are great and there are plenty of things they do that is precious and wonderful. I really adore children and am always inspired by them because they see things in such a dreamy way. I simply find it interesting that no matter what the situation, kids will test your patience and push your buttons in ways you never thought possible. Take a deep breath and remember, it’s “time outs” now, no yelling or spanking allowed. It will be interesting to see how the new generation of children grow up. They are in control, not the parents. One spanking and they are turning you into Child Protective Services. When I was growing up I had to do everything my parents told me 24/7 and if I didn’t I got spanked, got my favorite things taken away, or was grounded. I wasn’t rewarded for being good, I was expected to be good. Now kids run the show and parents bribe them with candy, toys, play-dates and money to get them to do things. Times have definitely changed. It’s a new way of thinking. Only time will tell if its better or worse.
To all Moms and Dads, I admire your work and your willingness to face the challenge of parenthood. It’s truly the hardest job in the world. May your minimum 18 years of raising your kid/kids be amazing and memorable and may you not lose it when your children ask you, “WHY?”

Complicated Relationships

Angelism: “If you are in a complicated relationship, uncomplicate it! It’s that simple.”

 
“It’s Complicated!’
I address this topic because all too often I’m on Facebook and I notice under the relationship status people posting “It’s Complicated.” Is this what we have resorted to? Is this a new standard for the confusion and frustration one is willing to put up with? Does it make a person feel better to announce on social media that your life is such a mess you can’t possibly figure out whether or not you’re in a real relationship? Sorry if I offend, but being in a COMPLICATED RELATIONSHIP is the dumbest thing I have ever heard.
Identify what kind of relationship you are really in. Be honest with yourself.
1) A good relationship that has its ups and downs.
2) A bad relationship that you should get out of immediately.
3) A mediocre relationship at times that requires some extra excitement but most of the time it feels healthy overall.
4) A messy relationship that you stay in because you are too insecure to let go so you hang onto something that you know will never work.
5) No actual relationship outside of what you create in your head so you are being even more lame by making it sound like you have drama with this ex or wanna-be lover in your life.
6) None, zero, zilch, zip, non-existent relationship so own up to it already because a text here and there from months ago and a one night stand or two in your past do not count as being in a complicated relationship.
If it’s complicated because you are in the closet about your sexuality then come out. If it’s complicated because you are lying, then step up, tell the truth, and do what’s right for you. If it’s complicated because you are desperately hanging onto the past and you won’t let go, then seek therapy. If it’s complicated because you are cheating then stop sabotaging love and pick a mate you can stick with. If it’s complicated because kids are involved, shame on you for bringing your complicated relationship into the presence of a child. Fix the situation immediately so you don’t fuck up your kid. If it’s complicated because you don’t know how the other person feels, then ask the other person how they feel. If you are holding onto to someone who can’t commit then say, “Bye Felicia!”
I acknowledge that relationships have moments of difficulty and life gets challenging (complicated), but move on. When this is your identity that you announce to others publicly, and you admit to having just an OK relationship status for all the world to see, I think, “You can do better than that!” It either is a relationship or it isn’t. Putting into the universe that you are in a complicated relationship will only create more difficulty in your life.
My hope is if your relationship status is, “It’s Complicated,” you will stop and think a little more about why this is so. Is this the image you want others to see? Is your situation so puzzling that you can’t identify if it’s real? And if so, why do you want to be with someone who has you in this confusing position?
Cheers to uncomplicating complicated relationships. Let’s all set a standard to expect more from ourselves and others starting right now.

Analyzing Friends

Angelism: “Not all friendships are meant to last. Identify the ones that are worth investing your time in and move on from the ones that bring you down.” 

 

 

I consider myself to be a bit of a social butterfly. I have known many people in my day and have been close to a good chunk of them. Some friends I loved then disliked, a few I disliked, then loved, and a couple I wish I never invested my quality time in. Some friends I’m happy only being acquaintances with, and other friends I can’t imagine my life without. No matter what level of closeness, there are a few things I have learned. There are a variety of personality categories in which I can sort the people I have known. Here is an analysis of the kinds of friends I have encountered over the years. I do my best to keep my tight knit group filled with friends who always have my back and know that I have theirs in return. What types of friends have you experienced?
 
The Constant Complainer: This friend will eventually turn on you. Out of all the kinds of friends this one is the worst. There are many traits to notice in the early stages of your friendship so try to nip the annoyances in the bud ASAP. Here are some things this type of friend does:1) Bitches simply to bitch, is rude and inappropriate. Very embarrassing. 2) Makes every unfortunate situation relate to her. 3) Makes outbursts towards others for no apparent reason. 4) Passes the buck any time you try to call her out on something. 5) Tough to love because she is very insecure and emotionally charged. 6) Cries often or acts out for attention.
It’s All About Me: This is a friend that you are always waiting on. She calls the shots and makes all of the decisions. She has to look her best, must get her way and makes every conversation relate back to her. Her friendship sometimes feels fake since it’s all about her, all the time. Things this friend does: 1) Makes everyone else late because her make-up and outfit is the number one priority. 2) Makes all the decisions for the group and pouts if she doesn’t get her way. 3) Answers her phone when hanging out with you and is not at all apologetic for ditching your conversation. 4) Bumps into a friend while at the mall and doesn’t think to introduce you. She just ignores you while she gives five minutes of undivided attention to the other person. 5) Drops everything for a guy’s attention.Fragile and Insecure: This friend gets on your nerves time and time again. There is only so much you can to do lift the spirits of this insecure woman. This is a girl trapped in her childhood, still looking for acceptance and a place in this world. Daddy issues are an understatement. Traits of this friend are: 1) The art of energy sucking. She will take every ounce of positive energy you have and suck you dry. No matter how much good you give to her it will never be enough. 2) Paranoia runs through the veins of this friend. She is always worried that you are mad at her or that something is wrong if you went a day, week or month without chatting. 3) Flakes a lot because being in the real world is too scary. 4) Talks crazy. The slightest change in events can send this person into a dark hole of depression. 5) This person cries a lot and never because she is happy. She is like a pathetic little puppy dog begging for attention.

Financially Troubled: This is your friend who has no idea how to manage money. She may be the friend who refuses to work or possibly makes a good living yet never has any money when you go out. She can’t manage her finances and it hurts your friendship. This friend usually: 1) Goes out and somehow orders the most expensive thing and never adds in the right amount of tax or tip. 2) Expects you to spot her if her credit card declines. 3) Is not good at REMEMBERING to pay you back. 4) Forgets to get you gifts for your birthday and holidays. 5) Can drink a five-dollar Starbucks in front of you while complaining about having no money for gas for her car.
Liars: This is the friend you have to always pay attention to. This friend tells stories that never match up. She tells white lies so often that she puts little effort into covering them up. You sometimes feel like you are the crazy one. You don’t understand why she lies, you just know she does. What you get from this friend is: 1) An avoidance of certain topics and plenty of mumbling when you try to line up or challenge the current stories. 2) Complete unawareness that what she told you Monday is different from what she is telling you on Friday. 3) Tells one friend one thing, her boyfriend another thing and you something else. When the three of you try and match up her stories you are all totally confused. 4) When you call this friend out on her lies she plays dumb and refuses to admit she lied. 5) This friend has a fear of looking stupid and feels more confident telling people what sounds good rather than what’s real.
 
All About the Boy: This is the friend who won’t leave her boyfriend/ husband’s side no matter what you do. Many times this is not because of the guy but because they now identify themselves as the companion of this person so the two are now one (even though they are still two). Often these women do the following: 1) Refuse to go anywhere where their man is not invited. 2) They baby-sit the man because they don’t trust him to be alone. 3) This girl falls off the face of the earth as soon as she is in a relationship. 4) She smothers her man and sticks up for him when she shouldn’t. 5) Lies to her girlfriends about what is really going on.
Victim: This is the friend who has it worse off that you. They have been molested, abused, cheated on, lied to, and have suffered more tragedy than the average person. Their identity is glued to their fucked up life experiences. This friend likely:1) Reminds you constantly that you will never understand her situation. 2) Complains all the time about how somebody did this to her. 3) Takes no blame for anything – she’s good, everyone else is bad. 4) Tells a lot of the same depressing stories and chooses to do nothing to better them. 5) Continues to find the same drama everywhere she goes.
Fun, Fun, Fun: This is the friend that never slows down. All she wants to do is party. She lives her life in the fast lane and you struggle to keep up. She will forever be 21! Qualities of this friend are:1) Complete denial of her age and unwillingness to grow up. 2) Puts herself at risk constantly being in party girl mode. 3) Lacks being responsible in daily life because she’s always looking for her next adrenaline rush. 4) She can’t understand why you are passing on another beer pong party or why you would miss the local happy hour. 5) Parties all night, sleeps all day and looks worn out all the time.
Workaholic: This friend is buried in her work. It defines her and is her identity. This is where she feels secure. Her success in the workplace if what gives her purpose. This friend is likely to do the following:1) Miss all events because of work. 2) Talk to you only about her work life and goals. 3) Obsess about pay, promotions and hours. 4) Play on her computer or phone in front of you constantly so she can stay connected with the job. 5) Make it sound as though her job is more important than yours.
Totally Loyal: Every girl strives to have girlfriends that are totally loyal. I’m proud to say I have a few in my life who have really stood the test of time. A loyal friend is like a good husband. No matter how many good and bad times you experience, no matter how many categories above they may fall under at certain times in the friendship, a loyal friend sticks with you. Traits of a loyal girlfriend are: 1) No matter what the fight or disagreement there is an expectation that nothing will interfere with the love and trust you experience in your friendship. 2) You are brutally honest and it’s considered a luxury. Your opinion matters and your thoughts are always valid. 3) They are good listeners. They have a compassionate ear yet can tell you the truth and you accept it. 4) Every day is a blessing in your friendship. This is not a friend who will ever take advantage of you. 5) This is a person that no matter how many times they move, change numbers or get new emails, you are one they will never lose touch with.
I think it’s wonderful to experience friends from all these categories, possibly have friends that possess multiple types of these personalities. Being diverse in your way of thinking and flexible with different kinds of people helps you with your patience and teaches you to set boundaries. It also helps you understand more about your own personality. If anything, I have come to accept that everyone is different and the sooner I can assess their differences the easier it is for me to enjoy my time and friendship with them.
Are you attracted to a certain kind of friend? If so, why? What kind of friends do you want in your life and what can you do today to make sure that you surround yourself with that type of person? Does this blog raise awareness for you that maybe it’s time to separate from certain people and put your effort into the ones that really deserve it? I hope if anything this blog got you thinking.
Cheers to friendship!

Basic Rules People Should Follow!

Angelism: “For some people normal is not really normal. Act appropriate or get out of my face!”

Ever wonder if people really were raised in a barn? I know I’m guilty of doing dumb, ridiculous crazy stuff occasionally but come on people. Some things are just a given and here is a list of a few rules I believe people should follow. I have some for the ladies, some for the men, and a couple for both sexes. You will be laughing if you agree. However, if you are guilty of these things don’t take it personally. I have a sharp lip and that will never change.
For the Ladies…
1) If you are over the age of 49 don’t wear pants with writing on the rear. Juicy Couture is not so juicy on your old lady behind I don’t care how great you look for your age.
2) Do not wear white pants if you have cellulite – dimples always show through.
3) If your hair has feathers you are living in the wrong decade and you look hideous. Cut it!
4) Wait to have plastic surgery. The 20-30 somethings having plastic surgery look like freaky, possessed, wax museum figures and it’s a dead give away of your insecurities.
5) Wear a bra. I don’t care if you only have raisins for boobs, keep your nipples to yourself.
6) Never call a guy first, ask him for a date first or kiss him first. Quit being desperate and let him do the work. It’s the only time he will put forth this kind of effort, trust me on this one.
7) If you don’t shave your armpits, do not wear a tank top. If you don’t shave your legs please wear pants. Thank you.
8) Quit with the lip liner. A dark line of lipstick tracing your lips with a pastel in the middle is out of style and you look like a clown.9) Stop with the crazy big eyebrows all penciled on or the bright much too long fake fingernails. You look ridiculous.

For the Men….
1) Stop scratching your balls in public – it’s gross.
2) Stop picking your nose and flicking your boogers – this is gross too!
3) Stop talking like a pervert. That hot 20 year old chick you’re drooling over would not do you if you paid her so keep dreaming.
4) Stop being lazy and do something; preferably something that doesn’t make a mess.
5) Stop hogging the remote control and read a book. Use your brain for once.
6) Stop trying to save your receding hairline. You look old regardless but with a comb-over you look old and stupid. Shave it.
7) Stop farting on people, shaking hands is a much better way of saying hello.8) Stop being a DICK! I know it makes you feel cool in the moment but not need to try and win, be the best at, and have done everything in life. Shut your trap, we know you are full of shit!

Basically, for the guys, the best rule is to simply stop acting like a kid and act like a man and maybe, just maybe, women won’t complain as much.
To Both Sexes
1) If you are large enough that you spill over the seat on a plane or in a theater, please buy another seat. I know this is a sensitive topic for many but don’t make me suffer because you can’t say, “No!” to junk food. I diet, workout and am aware of my weight every day. Your weight should not be a discomfort to me.
2) Don’t fart in a car without warning everyone in it first. Open the window while you are at it please.
3) Turn the lights off when you leave a room and the water off when you brush your teeth. Basic, environmentally friendly rules should always apply.
4) Don’t wear clothes that are too tight. If you have to lay on a bed to zip your pants or lift a roll to put something on then don’t wear it.
5) If you wear Crocs and you are not gardening I feel sorry for you and everyone  who has to be seen with you.
6) Use your blinker, it’s there for a reason.7) Look up when you are walking or talking! Stare at your cell phone some other time.

and finally….
8) Trim, trim, trim your body. Trimming is not just for trees. Most people are not interested in being naked with animals.

 

You 1st, Mate 2nd

Angelism: “Me first today!”

I know it’s hard sometimes to put yourself first but you have to. Placing more importance on your mate than on yourself is the biggest mistake a woman can make. You may think, “I am single I don’t have to worry about this,” but you do. Because depending on how long you are single, a common mistake single women make is when you finally meet someone you are truly interested in you put all your eggs in one basket. You forget what you want because you are so focused on what they want. The point here is to stay on track with your personal goals in life.
Recently my boyfriend and I were on a road trip to Vegas. A road trip is a perfect time to ask questions and talk openly about your relationship. We agreed when we started the conversation that we would be open for positive and negative feedback and that the intention of the discussion was to learn more about where we are now versus 15 years ago. It was fun and I walked away discovering a new side of my boyfriend and loving him even more. The moment I remember most was when I asked him what three things he found attractive about me. He responded, “Your confidence, your fun energy, and the fact that you’re so passionate.” I was instantly overjoyed.
I can honestly say that I agree with my boyfriend and I’m happy he can see the good things in me. I put effort into living a positive life every day and I can only do this by putting me 1st! The reward and recognition you get when you take time for your soul is amazing. You can’t give to others unless you give to yourself, and putting you first doesn’t make you a bad woman – it makes you a smart one. You will have nothing to give if you burn yourself out meeting others’ needs before meeting your own.
End of day, my confidence glows. I appreciate the skin I’m in and I love me despite my imperfections. I have energy because I take time for myself. I exercise often which is a natural drug, I make time to connect with my mate and my friends, and I am committed to a job that I love. Life is exciting and the endorphins simply take over. I’m very committed to this I love, and it’s because I put myself first that I can enjoy life.
I have only had very few relationships with men that I would say are valid. I consider all the other boyfriends practice. Sorry guys. My first marriage was when I was 20. I was young, confused and I put the man first because I thought that’s how it worked. He was in the military and had many career needs. Before I knew it I had no idea who I was, or what I was doing. All I knew was that I had to make sure he was happy, that his needs were met, and that he had his way. Let’s just say when his happiness ran out, mine did too. There I was, stuck in his world, and in that moment it felt like life was over. 
Now 20 years later, and in a long-lasting healthy and vibrant relationship, I am so grateful to know who I am and how I got here. I was single for over two years after my marriage ended. During that time I stayed away from men, I focused on me, discovered what my needs were, made time to explore my womanhood and had fun. It was this turning point that led to one of the healthiest relationships I’ve ever known. And even though I love my boyfriend dearly, I still, 16 years later, put me 1st. The fact is that anything can happen and if he is not around someday I have to continue to be confident, strong and comfortable standing in my own skin. So the lesson here is,”You 1st, Mate 2nd,” no matter what. 

Two Sides of My Soul

Angelism: “I choose happy because happy is a choice.”

Today I bring up an interesting topic, a way of looking inside your soul that you may have not thought of before. I have always felt that I have two lives. You might be thinking that I’m living in the dark under two different names not sure of who I am. Not the case. However I have discovered that I have a bad life and a good life. I’m well aware of my existence and the twists and turns it’s taken, but what I’m most fascinated with is my ability to choose one life over the other. It’s as if my soul knows the feeling of two personalities but chooses one.
I was raised by a variety of people. My parents, grandparents, teachers, neighbors, extended family, acquaintances in the workplace, and friends, all played a part in the person that I have become. Books and prayer have also influenced me at certain times in my life. Even TV has helped my personality grow. Thanks to kind-hearted individuals like Oprah, I believe that the world can be a better place. It’s these relationships and experiences that have helped mold me to think the way I do and for that I am ever so grateful.
I’ve learned that the world is filled with two kinds of people: the positive (uppers) and the negative (downers). No matter how hard I try to be good, I’ll always be surrounded by someone or something that wants to bring me down. I know that it’s my choice to live one of these two ways. Unfortunately, good and bad things happen regardless of my efforts. It can be challenging to get through the day when you know it’s all up to chance and that what’s here one minute, could be gone the next.
Because of my consistent happy and outgoing personality, I don’t get much sympathy from others. This is mainly my doing because I don’t seek it. If there is a problem, I find a solution. I don’t dwell for long nor do I bring others down with me. Since I have the ability to manage life without much comfort from others, what many people don’t realize is that I have been broken. Not just a few hits here and there, but truly emotionally and physically damaged. I can think of handfuls of events that got me so low I’m surprised I’m still standing. Life has brought me loss, pain, misfortune, anxiety, conflict, stress and disappointment. I have been let down, forgotten, lied to, mistreated, disowned and crapped on by people I cared for and trusted. In past moments of pure disappointment, I have acted evil and said and done things I am not proud of. I can easily wake up every day and dwell in my misery if I wanted to.
On the flip side I know I’m an amazing person. I have been blessed in numerous ways and any negative experience I have had, has taught me an important lesson. Many of the people who have let me down, have also lifted me up. That’s what I hold onto. I have experienced love, praise, support, commitment, fun, intimacy and adventure. I have people who truly believe in me and stand by all that I do. My family and friends, who I hold so dear, have proven that no matter what gets in the way nothing will break our bond. When I think of these positive moments in my life, times of pure laughter and joy, I am carried. I think, “How dare I ever put energy elsewhere.” Happy is my home and my heart. I have the gift of joy because I decided long ago to use my energy to love people and life and set boundaries with those who let me down and are a negative force. My faith, trust, love and vulnerability confirm for me that no matter what happens – life is good.
So how does one get through the confusion of good versus evil, love versus hate, rich versus poor, friend versus enemy and luck versus jinxed? The way I see it is you can be a victim or a hero. When you are a victim, a downer, or a negative person, everything you think and do comes out through you with a negative, mistrusting force. A victim believes life isn’t fair. They can’t maintain relationships or nurture healing. Their walls are so high that no matter how hard you try, you keep ending up in the same dysfunctional situations. Their dramatic, disrespectful and rude behavior gets the best of them. I understand this dark, ugly place. I have been there and know people who live there full-time. Many times I have asked, “Why must it be so hard? Why must you kick me when I’m down? Why don’t people understand and respect me?” I can go on for days with desperate questions that have no answers or I can embrace the positive side of my soul that heals all wounds. One of my favorite Angelisms quotes says, “I choose happy because happy is a choice.” Since happy is a choice, I want to appreciate my life and celebrate its ups and downs. I know in my heart and in my mind that this is the way life should be.
It’s easy to get lost in life, feel confused about emotions and wonder why you always get the short end of the stick. It’s easier to go with the crowd or side with those that are dramatic and negative than to take a stand for a positive thought. Gossip always comes quicker than praise. What’s even easier is to beat people to the punch. You might figure if you can point out your flaws and life struggles before they do, then it will hurt less. Most of us have a problem looking at ourselves in the mirror and being wholeheartedly proud of what we see. The result of that is living in anger and disappointment which doesn’t lead to a happy soul.
Some people would love to walk a day in my shoes and others would not try on a pair if I paid them. The important thing for me is knowing which pair of shoes to wear in this life. I can wallow in the 5-inch heels that cripple me, cause pains in my legs, feet and knees, and show something to others that I’m not proud of, or I can choose to wear my sneakers. I know for sure that it’s in my sneakers I am comfortable, free spirited and ready to soak in all that the world has to offer.
I understand the struggles of having the Devil on one shoulder and an Angel on the other. I, like many of you, have to pick which life to make my story. I won’t pretend that I wake up on the right side of the bed every morning. Those of you who follow my BLOGS know I like to complain and vent a time or two. No matter how tough a day in my life can get, at the end of the day I know I’m at peace. What I choose is what’s right for me. I make every effort to live my life with respect, honesty, love and heartfelt consideration. Many of my decisions are driven by my desire to have fun and be a free spirit. My life, if I analyze it, can go either way; victim or hero, good or bad, positive or negative. As you have learned, my soul chooses happy so I am my own hero. Which life do you choose?