Ain’t it A Biotch Part II

Angelism: “No matter how hard I try there is always crazy shit to bitch about. Life just ain’t normal!”

Hopefully you all get a good laugh outta this. Feel free to add your own “Aint it a Biotch” comment at the bottom of this blog. I’m sure I missed a few good things to bitch about! 
1) Ain’t it a biotch when your boyfriend tells you to “Suck it in.” I’m bloated asshole!!! You try bleeding for 5 days!
2) Ain’t it a biotch when you stay up late Saturday night to watch SNL and it sucks. Not all episodes are worthy.
3) Ain’t it a biotch when you are on Facebook and your friends from another time zone update their status with the results of TV show. Keep it to yourself people, not everyone lives on the fucking East coast!
4) Ain’t it a biotch when you ask a woman, “When are you due?” and she responds with, “I am not pregnant!” Insert foot in mouth. Oops!
5) Ain’t it a biotch when you’re driving and you forget where you are going? Dumbass!
6) Ain’t it a biotch when you put on your fat pants and they are too tight. Fuck you evil calories!
7) Ain’t it a biotch when you wait an hour to eat at a restaurant and you finally get your food and it’s just OK. So not worth the wait.
8) Ain’t it a biotch when your parents talk about sex. So gross.
9) Ain’t it a biotch when someone walks in on you in a public restroom while you are doing number two. Hope you’re not wiping.
And since we are talking about shitters….
10) Ain’t it a biotch when you are simply walking around in public or sitting comfortably with a friend and out of the blue you fart and poo comes out. WTF???
11) Ain’t it a biotch when you get kicked out of a bar on your birthday because you are too drunk. Maybe this is just me but I blame my friends for giving me too many shots.
12) Ain’t it a biotch when you are in a deep sleep and that damn dump truck comes barreling through and wakes you up at 5:30am. ARGH, I hate this! You would think by now they could make those things a little quieter. Possibly a hybrid version would be good.
13) Ain’t it a biotch when you are shopping in the produce section of the supermarket and you grab an apple and a bunch of them fall on the ground. I have yet to understand why they stack the fruit and veggies the way they do.
14) Ain’t it a biotch when you are at home starving, you don’t have much food in the house and you go to make a PBJ sandwich and your bread is moldy. DAMMIT! Give me a spoon I am eating peanut butter for lunch.
15) Ain’t it a biotch when you go out to see a movie and you get there in what you consider to be plenty of time and you walk in and all that is available is the first three rows. Why do they even have the first three rows? Nobody likes them.
16) Ain’t it a biotch when you grab the remote control and go to use it and the batteries are dead. Now I gotta get my ass up off the couch and find batteries??? FML!
17) Ain’t it a biotch when you get an eyelash in your eye and you are wearing full makeup. I thought eyelashes were there to prevent shit from getting in my eyes. Lame!
18) Ain’t it a biotch when you are trying to go to bed and your man is running around the house asking you where everything is because he has no clue since he never puts anything away. And guys think women are annoying?!?! 
19) Ain’t it a biotch when you are in a public place and you go to release what you believe will be a quiet pass of gas and BOOM, everyone is well aware that it was you just shit your pants. Gas is a tricky thing.
And last but not least…
20) Ain’t it a biotch when you park your car and walk away with absolutely no regard for where you parked it. Hours later when you are done shopping you walk out and realize how stupid you were and the punishment will be walking up and down every aisle looking like clueless idiot while cursing at the cars and hitting that damn lock button on your keychain. Better hope if it’s a parking garage that you at least know what floor you were on. LOL!!!

WTF? Ain’t that a Biotch!

Angelism: “When life throws you stupid shit, just laugh!”

So often I find myself thinking, “WTF? Ain’t that a Biotch!” Time to do some venting!
*Ain’t it a biotch when you are driving along and some asshole cuts you off and has the nerve to flip you off. JERKS!
*Ain’t it a biotch when you get your period unexpectedly and you don’t have any tampons handy. UGH!!!
*Ain’t it a biotch when you are on a date and you need to fart. SO UNCOMFORTABLE.
*Ain’t it a biotch when you are enjoying your DVR show and you get to the end and beep, the recording is over and you don’t get to see the ending or the previews for next week. STUPID MACHINE!
*Ain’t it a biotch when your parents and family members join Facebook. TIME TO SENSOR.
*Ain’t it a biotch when you wake up in the middle of the night to pee and you step in your pets barf or poop in the dark. PETS ARE NOT ALWAYS CUTE.
*Ain’t it a biotch when you get to the airport two hours early to discover your flight is delayed two hours. YEAH FOR THE OVERPRICED BAR.
*Ain’t it a biotch when you begin working out, and what feels like forever, has only been five minutes. THIS HAPPENS EVERY TIME I GO TO THE GYM.
*Ain’t it a biotch when you are out in public in your grubs and you run into an old classmate or worse and ex-boyfriend who looks fantastic. LAME.
*Ain’t it a biotch when you have an itch under your bra or around your crotch area and you are in public. SCRATCH RESPONSIBLY.
*Ain’t it a biotch when you get caught picking your nose while driving your car. GROSS.
*Ain’t it a biotch when you order fast food and you get home to find out they forgot one of your items but still charged you for it. IDIOTS!!!
*Ain’t it a biotch when you go to start your car and the battery is dead? STUCK!
*Ain’t it a biotch when you go to reach for your cell phone in your purse and it’s not there. LIFE WITH NO CELL = FREAK OUT.
*Ain’t it a biotch when you are having a great day and your roommate, child, or partner storms in, in a shitty mood, and ruins your day. GO AWAY!
*Ain’t it a biotch when you are in a public restroom and you go to reach for the toilet paper and there is none. HOPE THERE ARE SEAT COVERS.
*Ain’t it a biotch when you go to drink your tea or coffee and it is hot enough to melt gold. LIQUID FIRE IS NOT SO TASTY.
*Ain’t it a biotch when you are sitting comfortably in the movie theater and some a-hole next to you can’t sit still, shut up, or share arm space. SELFISH PIG GO HOME!
*Ain’t it a biotch when your kids know more about technology then you. SAD WHEN YOUR 12 YEAR OLD CAN FORMAT YOUR RESUME BETTER THAN YOU.
*Ain’t it a biotch when you order Chicken McNuggets at McDonald’s and they charge you extra for additional sauces. SERIOUSLY?
*Ain’t it a biotch when you hug someone and realize after you step away that you got lipstick and or concealer on their face or clothes. OOPS.
and finally….
*Ain’t it a biotch when you are chatting with someone like an old classmate, friend, potential employer, or neighbor, and they use a big word in the midst of your conversation and you have no idea what it means but you nod and continue hoping your lack of education doesn’t shine through in that moment. DAMN SHOW OFFS, USE EVERYDAY WORDS PLEASE!