Shit Happens!

Angelism: “You are not above things going wrong in your life. Get over yourself & accept that shit happens & it’s OK.”

 
Life is an interesting roller-coaster of highs and lows. Most people want love, happiness, and financial stability, yet so many people get lost in the stress of life and the instant gratification of negativity. People race through days allowing themselves to get overwhelmed by little things like a flat tire, a cell phone that breaks, or a pizza delivery that runs late. This proves to me that as Americans we are spoiled. People want more stuff and exciting new adventures. The focus is on what we want and the importance of having it a certain way rather than using our energy to appreciate life and its daily struggles. As Americans we are surrounded by so much greatness and opportunity, we are raised knowing that our dreams can become reality, however it’s important to keep in mind that SHIT WILL HAPPEN. The sooner we can accept that not everything will go our way, the happier life will be for all.
I’m always in awe at how stressed out a person can become over a computer that crashes, a remote control that dies, or a cell phone that breaks. I laugh when people roll their eyes in line at the grocery store as if their time is more important than the few people in front of them. Even more entertaining is when drivers flip people the bird all because they are shocked and bugged by having to share their public street space with someone they consider a horrible driver. Get over yourself!
We are all in a world experiencing life. People have the ability to dream and believe in perfection which can be our enemy. We have the need for more things to prove our success and establish our importance. Many people run around with built up negative energy, complaining about anything and everything that doesn’t go as expected because we want to control our dream for a perfect environment. We get flustered every time a little shit happens. I truly believe that real strength and intelligence comes from the people who accept that all that can happen, will happen, some good and some bad. You may be annoyed that your car broke down, but why wouldn’t it? It’s a car, it can fail. Do you think you are more deserving than others, and that your vehicle should always run perfectly and someone else should have to deal with car trouble instead? Are you above shit happening to you?
I’ve learned that not all days are fair and some good days turn bad just by taking a call or reading an email. I’ve spent the last decade trying to embrace shit happening. When things start to go opposite of the way I want them to, I start creating a plan to fix it. I do vent, stress, get annoyed and wish things were different, but a full on meltdown and “poor me, I’m a victim” attitude is never my route. When I see that shit is happening I grab an ass-wipe and start cleaning it up. The other option is to sit in the shit and be miserable which may be worth it for some but not for me. Next time shit happens in your life, I hope you see the bright side of the crap and process it nicely.

Positive thoughts can change your life…

Angelism: “Life can’t get you down if your positive thoughts lift you up!”

Recently a courageous friend on Facebook, who is struggling with new challenges in life, asked if I could write about positive thoughts and how it relates to healing. I was thrilled that this came up as a subject of choice. I’m happy to write about something I believe strongly in. The idea is that thoughts create and control our reality.
When I was younger, in my teenage years and early twenties, I never thought much about what I said or did. I knew I was happy, I liked having fun, and I felt very fortunate. Through life experiences, friends and family dramas, relationship lows, deaths and financial constraints, I have confirmed for myself that every situation is as good or bad as I allow it to be in my head. Every experience can be embraced, accepted, and made sense of, if I manage it correctly in my mind. I shape the outcome of every experience. It starts with my thoughts and ends with my commitment to maintain the positive thoughts and delete the negative ones.
It is easy to be a downer. Many of us go day after day complaining about the bad driver in front of us, not having enough time, scared about our unloving companion, frustrated from our nagging family and friends, and infuriated because of the increasing prices and bad economy. We fill our space and energy with something we know we have in common with every human in existence -the ability to complain. Complaining is a given. Stand next to someone in Starbucks and if you so much as roll your eyes or suggest in any way that it’s taking forever, the person behind you will likely say, “It’s annoying, they are always slow here.”
What would it take to be positive? How hard is it for you? People across the world are becoming more aware of the gift of a good attitude. The idea that you become your thoughts is proving to be true. With books like, The Secret, The Power of Now, and A Complaint Free World, we are reassured that positive thoughts result in a good outcome. You think about what you want, you vision it, and you get it. Controlling your mind to think in a way that is beneficial to you, and being aware of your words so that you no longer speak in a disrespectful way towards yourself, can really pay off.
So does positive thinking have the ability to heal us? YES. Many doctors agree that an ill patient who has a positive attitude and a strong will to fight, is going to do better than the patient who takes the news of an illness to heart and sees it as a life sentence. Doctors have confirmed that the major contributors to maintaining good health and removing disease from the body is a positive, hopeful and determined outlook from the patient. Words that you speak to yourself become a reality, so an ill person who speaks positively towards their body during a crisis, can actually reverse the negative situation creating quality health and healing for their body and mind.
Now chances are if you have just been diagnosed with breast cancer you are not going to run home and start talking words of gratitude about your situation. Every major negative experience deserves its moment of fear, depression and upset. However the sooner you move through those thoughts and create a plan of action to make positive changes, the healthier and stronger you will become.
If you don’t believe this concept to be true, I beg of you to give it a try. First become aware of every negative thought you say or think. Before you actually speak any harshness in this world, see if you can replace it with something beneficial and productive. Instead of complaining about the slow service at Starbucks, can you appreciate the extra time you have in line to play with the adorable baby that is in the stroller in front of you? Can you offer up a compliment to someone to fill the noise in which you would usually use to complain? Also if you have an illness, I ask that you challenge yourself to move past its limitations. Think your way out of being sick and see if you begin to feel better.
People who live with a strong mind, positive attitude and peace in their hearts have been known to practice many of the following habits. You may want to read up on these ideas individually to fully understand how all this can work for you. It’s also good to start trying some of these concepts and see if you can slowly change your life for the better.
Habits of positive people:
*Speak only kind words
*Read motivational and inspiring books
*Embrace each new day with good thoughts
*Write in a gratitude journal daily
*Live in the moment, listen and have awareness
*Be thankful for all things good and bad
*Think positively about finances and trust it will work out
*Surround yourself with joyful things; art, flowers, books, music and more
*Have goals/dreams and trust they can be achieved
*Pay it forward
*Surround yourself with love and positive people
*Meditate and exercise
*Eat well and take care of your health
*Be free of judgment
*Love yourself and feed your soul
*Respect your negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones immediately
I want to thank my friend on Facebook who encouraged me to write this. I admire your willingness to give me feedback. To all of you who read this, I hope you are on this path of greatness, and if not, I encourage you to make a conscious decision today to start changing the way you think.

Two Sides of My Soul

Angelism: “I choose happy because happy is a choice.”

Today I bring up an interesting topic, a way of looking inside your soul that you may have not thought of before. I have always felt that I have two lives. You might be thinking that I’m living in the dark under two different names not sure of who I am. Not the case. However I have discovered that I have a bad life and a good life. I’m well aware of my existence and the twists and turns it’s taken, but what I’m most fascinated with is my ability to choose one life over the other. It’s as if my soul knows the feeling of two personalities but chooses one.
I was raised by a variety of people. My parents, grandparents, teachers, neighbors, extended family, acquaintances in the workplace, and friends, all played a part in the person that I have become. Books and prayer have also influenced me at certain times in my life. Even TV has helped my personality grow. Thanks to kind-hearted individuals like Oprah, I believe that the world can be a better place. It’s these relationships and experiences that have helped mold me to think the way I do and for that I am ever so grateful.
I’ve learned that the world is filled with two kinds of people: the positive (uppers) and the negative (downers). No matter how hard I try to be good, I’ll always be surrounded by someone or something that wants to bring me down. I know that it’s my choice to live one of these two ways. Unfortunately, good and bad things happen regardless of my efforts. It can be challenging to get through the day when you know it’s all up to chance and that what’s here one minute, could be gone the next.
Because of my consistent happy and outgoing personality, I don’t get much sympathy from others. This is mainly my doing because I don’t seek it. If there is a problem, I find a solution. I don’t dwell for long nor do I bring others down with me. Since I have the ability to manage life without much comfort from others, what many people don’t realize is that I have been broken. Not just a few hits here and there, but truly emotionally and physically damaged. I can think of handfuls of events that got me so low I’m surprised I’m still standing. Life has brought me loss, pain, misfortune, anxiety, conflict, stress and disappointment. I have been let down, forgotten, lied to, mistreated, disowned and crapped on by people I cared for and trusted. In past moments of pure disappointment, I have acted evil and said and done things I am not proud of. I can easily wake up every day and dwell in my misery if I wanted to.
On the flip side I know I’m an amazing person. I have been blessed in numerous ways and any negative experience I have had, has taught me an important lesson. Many of the people who have let me down, have also lifted me up. That’s what I hold onto. I have experienced love, praise, support, commitment, fun, intimacy and adventure. I have people who truly believe in me and stand by all that I do. My family and friends, who I hold so dear, have proven that no matter what gets in the way nothing will break our bond. When I think of these positive moments in my life, times of pure laughter and joy, I am carried. I think, “How dare I ever put energy elsewhere.” Happy is my home and my heart. I have the gift of joy because I decided long ago to use my energy to love people and life and set boundaries with those who let me down and are a negative force. My faith, trust, love and vulnerability confirm for me that no matter what happens – life is good.
So how does one get through the confusion of good versus evil, love versus hate, rich versus poor, friend versus enemy and luck versus jinxed? The way I see it is you can be a victim or a hero. When you are a victim, a downer, or a negative person, everything you think and do comes out through you with a negative, mistrusting force. A victim believes life isn’t fair. They can’t maintain relationships or nurture healing. Their walls are so high that no matter how hard you try, you keep ending up in the same dysfunctional situations. Their dramatic, disrespectful and rude behavior gets the best of them. I understand this dark, ugly place. I have been there and know people who live there full-time. Many times I have asked, “Why must it be so hard? Why must you kick me when I’m down? Why don’t people understand and respect me?” I can go on for days with desperate questions that have no answers or I can embrace the positive side of my soul that heals all wounds. One of my favorite Angelisms quotes says, “I choose happy because happy is a choice.” Since happy is a choice, I want to appreciate my life and celebrate its ups and downs. I know in my heart and in my mind that this is the way life should be.
It’s easy to get lost in life, feel confused about emotions and wonder why you always get the short end of the stick. It’s easier to go with the crowd or side with those that are dramatic and negative than to take a stand for a positive thought. Gossip always comes quicker than praise. What’s even easier is to beat people to the punch. You might figure if you can point out your flaws and life struggles before they do, then it will hurt less. Most of us have a problem looking at ourselves in the mirror and being wholeheartedly proud of what we see. The result of that is living in anger and disappointment which doesn’t lead to a happy soul.
Some people would love to walk a day in my shoes and others would not try on a pair if I paid them. The important thing for me is knowing which pair of shoes to wear in this life. I can wallow in the 5-inch heels that cripple me, cause pains in my legs, feet and knees, and show something to others that I’m not proud of, or I can choose to wear my sneakers. I know for sure that it’s in my sneakers I am comfortable, free spirited and ready to soak in all that the world has to offer.
I understand the struggles of having the Devil on one shoulder and an Angel on the other. I, like many of you, have to pick which life to make my story. I won’t pretend that I wake up on the right side of the bed every morning. Those of you who follow my BLOGS know I like to complain and vent a time or two. No matter how tough a day in my life can get, at the end of the day I know I’m at peace. What I choose is what’s right for me. I make every effort to live my life with respect, honesty, love and heartfelt consideration. Many of my decisions are driven by my desire to have fun and be a free spirit. My life, if I analyze it, can go either way; victim or hero, good or bad, positive or negative. As you have learned, my soul chooses happy so I am my own hero. Which life do you choose?

Complaining about Complaining

Angelism: “Complaining out loud is expressing negatively what you don’t want or like. How much better would your life be if you spoke positively & shared what you do want & like? Start today.”

Not long ago I read the book A Complaint Free World and I had a huge wake-up call. I know complaining is common and I’m often a receiver and a sender. I consider myself a happy, upbeat, positive person and I didn’t think complaining was much of an issue for me. I was very wrong and this has been a lesson learned. I know I will never give up complaining 100%. It’s not easy to entertain or have a little obnoxious fun if I don’t go off dramatically on topics every once in a while. The clarity this book brought to me was the awareness of the constant, useless, serves no purpose, out loud complaints I say and hear that are not needed. For example:
“I’m tired” 
“I have a headache” 
“I have too much work” 
“My boss is an idiot” 
“My cats are annoying” 
“This remote doesn’t work” 
“I’m bored” 
“I’m cold” 
“I hate this song” 
“That driver is a maniac” 
“Laundry blows” 
“I don’t want to cook” 
“I feel fat” 
“I can’t think” 
“My day has been awful”
“My hair looks like shit!”
These are just a few of the CRAZY things I caught myself saying. This useless out loud chatter gives off bad vibes. This kind of talk creates negative energy in our space and is verbal communication that serves no good. If any of you have read this book or have seen Will Bowen (author) on Oprah, you know that the goal is to wear a purple bracelet around your wrist and every time you complain you have to switch the bracelet to the other wrist. The first day I swear I had bruises from swapping the bracelet so much. The goal is to go 21 days without complaining. I’m not sure that is a goal I can ever achieve but I will try. I’m very aware of the commentary around me now, so much that I hear random people a good distance away complaining about stuff. Even if you personally can’t make the change, the awareness is a step in the right direction. Now at least I catch myself and apologize to those around me who may have been in earshot of my wasteful words.
I feel this is a book that all people should read. With stopping the endless negative chatter you free up more quiet time than you ever thought possible. In this quiet time you can analyze and replace the bad thoughts with good ones. Stop verbally expressing every “Debbie Downer” thought and unimportant dramatic moment. No need to draw that kind of attention. The goal of this great little book and the bracelets (that are free: http://www.acomplaintfreeworld.org/), is to have a complaint free world and I think that’s wonderful. This book gets 5 out of 5 stars from me.