Shit Happens!

Angelism: “You are not above things going wrong in your life. Get over yourself & accept that shit happens & it’s OK.”

 
Life is an interesting roller-coaster of highs and lows. Most people want love, happiness, and financial stability, yet so many people get lost in the stress of life and the instant gratification of negativity. People race through days allowing themselves to get overwhelmed by little things like a flat tire, a cell phone that breaks, or a pizza delivery that runs late. This proves to me that as Americans we are spoiled. People want more stuff and exciting new adventures. The focus is on what we want and the importance of having it a certain way rather than using our energy to appreciate life and its daily struggles. As Americans we are surrounded by so much greatness and opportunity, we are raised knowing that our dreams can become reality, however it’s important to keep in mind that SHIT WILL HAPPEN. The sooner we can accept that not everything will go our way, the happier life will be for all.
I’m always in awe at how stressed out a person can become over a computer that crashes, a remote control that dies, or a cell phone that breaks. I laugh when people roll their eyes in line at the grocery store as if their time is more important than the few people in front of them. Even more entertaining is when drivers flip people the bird all because they are shocked and bugged by having to share their public street space with someone they consider a horrible driver. Get over yourself!
We are all in a world experiencing life. People have the ability to dream and believe in perfection which can be our enemy. We have the need for more things to prove our success and establish our importance. Many people run around with built up negative energy, complaining about anything and everything that doesn’t go as expected because we want to control our dream for a perfect environment. We get flustered every time a little shit happens. I truly believe that real strength and intelligence comes from the people who accept that all that can happen, will happen, some good and some bad. You may be annoyed that your car broke down, but why wouldn’t it? It’s a car, it can fail. Do you think you are more deserving than others, and that your vehicle should always run perfectly and someone else should have to deal with car trouble instead? Are you above shit happening to you?
I’ve learned that not all days are fair and some good days turn bad just by taking a call or reading an email. I’ve spent the last decade trying to embrace shit happening. When things start to go opposite of the way I want them to, I start creating a plan to fix it. I do vent, stress, get annoyed and wish things were different, but a full on meltdown and “poor me, I’m a victim” attitude is never my route. When I see that shit is happening I grab an ass-wipe and start cleaning it up. The other option is to sit in the shit and be miserable which may be worth it for some but not for me. Next time shit happens in your life, I hope you see the bright side of the crap and process it nicely.

WHY???

Angels: “Sometimes you have to stop and ask yourself WHY?”

 



Why we do what we do, say what we say, buy what we buy, and think what we think? This is simply a list of WHY thoughts to ponder.

1) Why do skinny bitches complain about being fat to a friend that is clearly heavier than them? I think if you are a size 8 or smaller, regardless of your height, you should shut the F* up!
2) Why do showers get dirty all the time? You would think something that included soap and hot water for daily usage would stay clean.
3) Why do we drive a mile or less to pick up food, visit a friend, or drop kids off at school? And then we question why we are fat?
4) Why do we go out and party at a bar, spend good money on alcohol, knowing we may barf it up later? There goes $60 bucks worth of Fireball down the toilet!
5) Why is it that you can learn the words to a song after a few times of hearing it but can’t remember a phone number, address, or things you read and study for? I never understood this. All things should be taught in a song.
6) Why is it when it rains the car gets dirtier? My car gets streaks everywhere. No such thing as a free car wash.
7) Why is it that you can be chatting with your best friend about an event that you were both at and somehow you remember it totally differently? This makes me crazy!!!
8) Why are people stressed and overworked with their jobs and family but find the time to update their Facebook and Twitter?
9) Why is it that a book can be so fantastic and then you watch the movie and it’s horrible?
10) Why does everything bad that happens, happen for a reason, but everything good that happens is considered good luck? Heaven forbid good things happen to good people because they deserve it.
11) Why in the world are the Kardashian’s celebrities? Are we so pathetic we have stooped to this being a form of entertainment?
12) Why can men listen to and watch sports for hours, but only have a two minute attention span for their wife and kids?
13) Why do weirdos who can’t sing or act try out for shows like The Voice? Are people really that desperate for attention?
14) Why do people who lose hundreds of pounds gain it back? That’s a journey I would not want to take twice.
15) Why do people make the same mistake more than twice? Are you not smart enough to learn a lesson?
16) Why do people work in service when they do not like people? Even more important why do people hire these assholes? Did they really shine in an interview?
17) Why do people still get perms? Even more importantly why do salons still offer perms?
18) Why must lawyers be rude? Is it really necessary to share your knowledge of the law and use fancy courtroom words when we are out at dinner or at a BBQ? I get it, you are kinda a big deal but seriously, TAKE THE DAY OFF WE DON’T CARE!
19) Why do parents let their kids drink soda especially caffeinated soda? Go buy stock in some insulin because your child’s future is diabetes.
And last but not least….
20) Why do wanna-be, label whore people buy a 200 or 300 series Mercedes or BMW? People who actually are wealthy know that if you really had money you would not have wasted your mediocre line of credit on a lower end version of a high quality awesome car. LMAO!!!

Basic Rules People Should Follow!

Angelism: “For some people normal is not really normal. Act appropriate or get out of my face!”

Ever wonder if people really were raised in a barn? I know I’m guilty of doing dumb, ridiculous crazy stuff occasionally but come on people. Some things are just a given and here is a list of a few rules I believe people should follow. I have some for the ladies, some for the men, and a couple for both sexes. You will be laughing if you agree. However, if you are guilty of these things don’t take it personally. I have a sharp lip and that will never change.
For the Ladies…
1) If you are over the age of 49 don’t wear pants with writing on the rear. Juicy Couture is not so juicy on your old lady behind I don’t care how great you look for your age.
2) Do not wear white pants if you have cellulite – dimples always show through.
3) If your hair has feathers you are living in the wrong decade and you look hideous. Cut it!
4) Wait to have plastic surgery. The 20-30 somethings having plastic surgery look like freaky, possessed, wax museum figures and it’s a dead give away of your insecurities.
5) Wear a bra. I don’t care if you only have raisins for boobs, keep your nipples to yourself.
6) Never call a guy first, ask him for a date first or kiss him first. Quit being desperate and let him do the work. It’s the only time he will put forth this kind of effort, trust me on this one.
7) If you don’t shave your armpits, do not wear a tank top. If you don’t shave your legs please wear pants. Thank you.
8) Quit with the lip liner. A dark line of lipstick tracing your lips with a pastel in the middle is out of style and you look like a clown.9) Stop with the crazy big eyebrows all penciled on or the bright much too long fake fingernails. You look ridiculous.

For the Men….
1) Stop scratching your balls in public – it’s gross.
2) Stop picking your nose and flicking your boogers – this is gross too!
3) Stop talking like a pervert. That hot 20 year old chick you’re drooling over would not do you if you paid her so keep dreaming.
4) Stop being lazy and do something; preferably something that doesn’t make a mess.
5) Stop hogging the remote control and read a book. Use your brain for once.
6) Stop trying to save your receding hairline. You look old regardless but with a comb-over you look old and stupid. Shave it.
7) Stop farting on people, shaking hands is a much better way of saying hello.8) Stop being a DICK! I know it makes you feel cool in the moment but not need to try and win, be the best at, and have done everything in life. Shut your trap, we know you are full of shit!

Basically, for the guys, the best rule is to simply stop acting like a kid and act like a man and maybe, just maybe, women won’t complain as much.
To Both Sexes
1) If you are large enough that you spill over the seat on a plane or in a theater, please buy another seat. I know this is a sensitive topic for many but don’t make me suffer because you can’t say, “No!” to junk food. I diet, workout and am aware of my weight every day. Your weight should not be a discomfort to me.
2) Don’t fart in a car without warning everyone in it first. Open the window while you are at it please.
3) Turn the lights off when you leave a room and the water off when you brush your teeth. Basic, environmentally friendly rules should always apply.
4) Don’t wear clothes that are too tight. If you have to lay on a bed to zip your pants or lift a roll to put something on then don’t wear it.
5) If you wear Crocs and you are not gardening I feel sorry for you and everyone  who has to be seen with you.
6) Use your blinker, it’s there for a reason.7) Look up when you are walking or talking! Stare at your cell phone some other time.

and finally….
8) Trim, trim, trim your body. Trimming is not just for trees. Most people are not interested in being naked with animals.

 


Don’t Sleep w/ People You Don’t Know!

Angelism: “Sex is just sex. Dating is the process of falling in love. Casual sex before dating will likely lead to no dates just booty calls. Sorry.”
When is the right time to have sex? This question has many women confused. Plenty of you are being taken advantage of by men, settling for whatever is available in the moment, and hoping it will lead to some lasting relationship. I mean it when I say, “Don’t sleep with people you don’t know!” If you are on a first date, there is no way you have a clue who this person is so keep your legs closed and your shirt on. If you make it to a second date, there is still no chance you have any idea what this man’s past looks like or what lies he may be telling you. If you land a third date, he may actually LIKE you so don’t act easy and give it up. You may think you have shown confidence and pride by holding out until the third date, however I think it’s too early to hand out a free ride. You will never convince me that after three dates you know or love a person enough to sleep with them. You can have an idea about someone but if you have sex, it’s essentially with a stranger. 
It’s a rarity that someone truly knows a partner after three months of dating. If you were unaware of this concept before now, take note that getting to know someone requires time. Quit being in such a rush. Do not give up your golden ticket, box, hoo-hoo, beaver, chi-chi, va-jay-jay or whatever you like to call it. Your love is the greatest gift you can give a man and it should not be given out to every Tom, Dick and Harry. Have some self respect and make a man earn your love. Casual sex is great if you can handle it, but many of you can’t and are looking for love and getting nothing but douche bags because you are too busy giving out FREE rides! 
This is very serious topic for me. I do not mean to come off harsh but this one-night stand, heartbreak and low self-esteem cycle women go through needs to end. Sleeping with guy after guy and going nowhere in a relationship can’t be satisfying. Many of you don’t sleep around much but still give it up immediately with the few men you date. What are you thinking? A REAL MAN likes a chase. His only goal is to earn your love. He wants to work for your attention because that is what turns him on. To do this you have to hold out on sex. You have to give him a reason to want to get to know you first. If you give him sex right away, he will either think you are easy and he won’t call you back, or he will only call you back for a booty-call. Neither of these options are going to get you a shiny diamond ring and a wedding date. Next time you are on a date remember this Angelism, “If you don’t know him, don’t sleep with him.” 
I want to clarify that I think casual sex is fine. Many people can meet once and have a sexcapade that they will remember the rest of their life. That’s great! Have one for me while you are at it. This blog is for all the women who are looking for love but making dumb, desperate, single girl mistakes. It’s not to say that people can’t fall in love and marry after sleeping together on a first date. Crazier things have happened. I speak from experience when I say, “Let the man have an opportunity to hunt you down. Make him want you, be curious about you, be into you, like you, listen to you and fall madly in love with you.” After all, this is the best part of a relationship. It’s after the dating sex and the, “I do,” that the real work begins. Enjoy the chase, expect it, and promise me, “You will not sleep with people you don’t know!”