Getting Knocked Up Is No Accident

Angelism: “With as much information as we have available to us, there is no way you can blame an accident for getting knocked up. Either you were safe & prevented it or you didn’t.”

 

I want women around the world to start taking ownership for their actions. I can’t stand to hear, “I accidentally got pregnant.” Last time I checked, pregnancy is no accident; it is a result of two people choosing to have sex. I don’t care that you used a condom and thought you were safe. If you read the label you know that condoms are not 100% effective, in fact they are considered only moderately effective. If you are trying to avoid pregnancy then you need to know the facts. It is your job to honor and respect your body and prevent this accident. IT’S YOUR JOB TO BE RESPONSIBLE. No blaming the existence of your child on a wild drunken night. Be knowledgeable on this topic and hold your partner accountable too. After all it takes two to tango! Now for my judgements:

1) For women who think an accidental pregnancy will bring you and your man closer together, SHAME ON YOU. Bringing a child into this world in the hopes to enhance or keep your relationship is purely selfish. If you do this, I disagree with you 100%. I feel sorry for your child and your man.
2) For women who don’t care if they do or don’t get pregnant and have sex with men with no consideration of what the man may want, SHAME ON YOU. Having casual sex with a man and not knowing where his level of interest is to be a father is disrespectful. You may think with or without a man you can raise a child, so who cares? That is true, however kids always like to know who their biological parents are and allowing a man to impregnate you without knowing if he is OK with being a father is unacceptable.
3) For women who get pregnant because they want to stay at home, raise a family, and no longer work, SHAME ON YOU. I guarantee you after a few years of being a stay-at-home mom you will re-think your decision. It is no walk in the park and you will crave adult interaction. The redundancy of day to day childcare along with household chores and family responsibilities will burn you out no matter how much you enjoy being domestic. If this is your family goal I think this setup is wonderful, but if you are having a baby “accidentally” to pressure your husband to be a stay at home wife, then you are awful!
4) For women who get pregnant so that the state can take care of them, SHAME ON YOU. Get your shit together and stop mooching off welfare. Knocking out babies for a paycheck is considered cheating the system. The money is not nearly as much as you’ll need to raise a child and send them to college so do something to better yourself. Get your life together, get a job, and set a good example.
5) For women who have children because they need love in their life and want somebody to love them unconditionally, SHAME ON YOU. Bringing a child into this world with a job to love you and help you feel more secure is disgusting.
6) For the women who carelessly go out and party, get drunk and have one-night stands, SHAME ON YOU. I am all for partying and having fun but your body and your future should take priority over a drunken, stupid night that knocks you up.
7) For every inexperienced, spoiled and rebellious teenager who thinks they know it all, who then goes out and gets pregnant to spite their parents or be cool in school, SHAME ON YOU. Now you have put pressure on many lives because you are a kid with a kid.
8) For all the women who have a child because their husband, parents, family, and friends pressured them into it, SHAME ON YOU. You should never be a mom if you do not have the absolute desire to be a mom. Since you can’t get pregnant on accident you can tell these people to piss off, you are not getting knocked up for them!
I want women to plan for having children and want them for the right reasons. So many children exist with no homes. Even worse, children live in broken homes because mom didn’t take control and plan a respectable life for herself and her children. Pregnancy should be honored and desired. Children will struggle enough growing up in today’s society with guns at school, challenging educational systems, issues with bullying, peer pressures to drink, do drugs and have sex, and difficulty making friends since we have become a society of 24 hour gossip and instant gratification. Everything is expressed via email and text constantly. Personal skills are vanishing and our future generations seem detached from emotion because they are zoned out on electronic stimulation from TV, Internet and video game violence. Parents need to be present with their children and be ready for the commitment that is required.
Ladies, wake up and be aware going forward that being responsible about pregnancy is your job. You may say, “What about the man? It’s his fault too!” I realize, he can get you pregnant, but you can prevent it. IT IS ALWAYS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY! If you could get him pregnant it would be his responsibility; that’s not how the birds and the bees work. Taking sex lightly is not OK. There are ways to prevent having a baby. I should know because I have yet to even have a scare and believe me I have had plenty of sex. Using the birth control pill is very, very effective. If taken as advised, everyday and on time you will not get knocked up. If you do then you fall in the 1% and that would be considered an accident. A condom, combined with the shot or pill, is best. This way you prevent pregnancy and STD’s. Spermicides used with a condom are also quite effective.
Know your facts, protect yourself, think and plan responsibly, and give birth to a child that is wanted. Even planned kids are faced with divorce, death, challenges and daily struggles. But how nice to know that you have a child that you wanted, not one you got stuck with. For percentages on birth control effectiveness check out this information on WebMD. It is your duty to act responsibly when it comes to sex and making babies.
http://www.webmd.com/sex/birth-control/ss/slideshow-birth-control-options
Behaving in the way I describe above gives women a bad name. These are selfish actions, often intentional, that bring a child into the world under a stressful environment. Women who get knocked up for any of those reasons do not deserve to be parents. Yes, there are truly accidental circumstances. A woman can have that random irresponsible one-night stand, have a child as a result of it, act responsibly, and be a great mom. For that, I’m proud you did the right thing. That positive end result does not change the fact that it’s not the best approach to having children and likely not a situation you will promote as you raise your child.
I’m not expressing this to make moms who made any of the choices I listed above feel bad. We all make mistakes. I don’t disrespect you if you took ownership for what you did. However with today’s openness and early education about sex, you can no longer blame pregnancy on an accident. Set an example for future generations and take responsibility. Stop playing the female victim. When unlikely things occur like pregnancy because of rape (which is awful), because he had a vasectomy and you thought it was safe (very unfortunate), you fail to take the pill properly (big oops), or possibly because you are completely uneducated in what the result of having sex is (sad but can happen)… These reasons account for a very small percentage of women and are not the target audience here. Even if these unlikely events occurred, abortion or the morning after pill are options.
Be better, do better, plan better!

What MOM Didn’t Tell Us About MEN!

Angelism: “Why women try to change men I will never understand. Embrace their weirdness & individuality, for the most part it is entertaining!”

My girlfriend’s and I often bitch about all the things, big and small, that irritate us about living with a man. Whether you are married, living together, or dating and he is over all the time, there are things that get on your nerves 24/7. Here is a little list I have compiled of why living with a man can be annoying most days of the week. All we can do is laugh about it!
1) Men leave shit everywhere. Clothes, shoes, pens, papers, food wrappers, socks, condoms, money, towels, underwear, cups, plates, beer cans, hats, keys, phones, magazines, mail, video games, and anything they can get their hands on. This list can go on forever.
2) Men smell like salty balls most of the time. If you can catch your man fresh out of a shower you are lucky, have sex immediately. Other than that they stink like ass shortly thereafter.
3) Men have their best sex life with the remote control. If only men put the same amount of effort into fondling their lady as they do that damn remote every woman on the planet would orgasm.
4) Men sweat like pigs when they sleep and breath and snore all over you.
5) Men grab, scratch, tug and fondle their balls no matter where they are or what they are doing. A man sprawled out on the couch with his hand in his pants repositioning his junk is a daily ritual.
6) Men pick their nose, face, ears, feet, and anything else they can pick, all the time. Boys become men who act like boys never sit still. They are always picking at or investigating something and touching buttons they should not.
7) Men make a mess in the kitchen unlike anything I have ever seen before. My man can make a grilled cheese and Top Ramen and you would think he cooked a feast for 10.
8) Men can sleep in the same sheets for a month and never think to change them. They would not wear the same underwear for a month yet they look at you like you are crazy when you want to change the sheets weekly because they sweat, fart, lay naked, and have sex regularly on them.
9) Men fart on you non-stop. In the bedroom, living room, bathroom, car and even in public. When they bomb you, they laugh like a nine year old boy who got away with something bad. They outright fart on you, literally on you!
10) Men like to dance around naked. Hell they like to do everything naked. When men are naked, their focus is their penis. They like to hide their penis so it looks like they have a vagina, bounce it around while they dance, flop their balls over it and give you the bat wings, swing it in circles like a propeller, tea bag you, push their balls in the back below their ass and show you the goat, or my personal favorite; give their penis a boner and ask you to take care of it. I tell ya, I have been in my relationship for almost 13 years and I have seen some crazy shit that can be done with a penis.
11) Men watch way too much TV, drink way too much beer, eat way too much junk, whine way too much when they have to do anything around the house, and are the most horrible patients when they are sick or hungover. WTF?
12) Men and laundry don’t mix. Men and cleaning don’t mix. Men and organizing don’t mix. Men and grocery shopping don’t mix. Men and Oprah don’t mix. Men and chic flicks don’t mix. MEN AND CHANGE DO NOT MIX! Honestly, not sure how men and women mix? I must really, really love my man. 
Now don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of things that men do right. This list however was for fun and to point out all the things Mom did not tell us women about what our future would look like living with a man. Not all men are created equal. Some only have a few of these wonderful qualities mentioned above. Moms out there, if you have young daughters, teach them this stuff before they leave home. What a pleasure it was for me to learn a guys lifestyle after I left the house. The good news is, all of us women are in the same boat, we are all faced with the challenge of finding new ways to enjoy the small tortures of living with the opposite sex.
To my love muffin of 13 years: “I love you honey! You are still my favorite gross guy!”

My Time of the Month SUCKS!

Angelism: “Whoever invented the female period is an asshole!”

I assume you know exactly what I am talking about when I say, “My time of the month SUCKS!” Most women have this in common for about 40+ dreadful years. Every month I get a visit and if I didn’t I’d shit my pants as my life would change forever; kids are not in my plan. If you are at all confused, I’m referring to my monthly period. The awful weeklong bloodbath in my pants is also known as: Aunt Flow, The Rag, Shark Week, The Dreaded Dragon, TOM (time of month), The Crimson Wave, The Bloody Mary, In Heat, The Curse, and lastly but most classy, Riding the White Pony. All very sexy don’t you think? I never realized how quickly 21 days can go by until day 21 creeps up on me, leaving me so bloated the buttons on my pants feel pressure to rip open, and my boobs can barely be stuffed into my roomiest of bras. Going up an entire cup size overnight the day or two before my period sucks! Great for my boyfriend, he thinks it’s awesome, however during this time I want him to stay as far away as possible since my boobs feel like a pile of bricks. I shove myself in a bra and pray to not have a tri-tit explosion out of the top of my shirt as it would be highly inappropriate at work. Finish these symptoms off with stabbing cramps, gas, zits, the shits, and an overall hormone and odor change, and YUM, I think that’s a recipe for a great date night? NOPE! Time to cancel my plans. FML!!! 
My crankiness aside, having a period in my opinion is truly a curse. PMS and everything that goes with it is awful. We go an average of four decades dealing with this shit, keeping the maxi pad and tampon industry in business, just for the option to have children. It’s feeling unfair to me, especially since I don’t want kids. As much as I respect our higher power, I’m not sure what God was smoking when he put this plan in place. Clearly he had too much wine that night and was very upset with women. The average American family has something like 2.6 kids. Hmmm, so you get to tough through a period every month for 40+ years to be pregnant for maybe two or three years of your life? Even if it takes you a few tries to get knocked up, even back in the day when we didn’t live as long… 40 years of baby making potential?!?! Eff you! This process is proof that the female body a fucking machine. Screw hunting and building a house boys; a woman is a super-human, baby making machine for four decades, bleeding a week straight for 12 weeks out of every year, all with the potential to nourish life with our big fat boobies! Top that bullshit! 

Maybe the PMS hormone imbalances that lead to a woman’s crazed moments truly are to make men insane. If that’s the case then great, something has to wake them up to experience the hell we face on a bad cramp day. Shit gets done when Shark Week arrives or somebody dies! I think many of you know exactly where I’m coming from on this. Please tell me I’m not alone!!!


Basic Rules People Should Follow!

Angelism: “For some people normal is not really normal. Act appropriate or get out of my face!”

Ever wonder if people really were raised in a barn? I know I’m guilty of doing dumb, ridiculous crazy stuff occasionally but come on people. Some things are just a given and here is a list of a few rules I believe people should follow. I have some for the ladies, some for the men, and a couple for both sexes. You will be laughing if you agree. However, if you are guilty of these things don’t take it personally. I have a sharp lip and that will never change.
For the Ladies…
1) If you are over the age of 49 don’t wear pants with writing on the rear. Juicy Couture is not so juicy on your old lady behind I don’t care how great you look for your age.
2) Do not wear white pants if you have cellulite – dimples always show through.
3) If your hair has feathers you are living in the wrong decade and you look hideous. Cut it!
4) Wait to have plastic surgery. The 20-30 somethings having plastic surgery look like freaky, possessed, wax museum figures and it’s a dead give away of your insecurities.
5) Wear a bra. I don’t care if you only have raisins for boobs, keep your nipples to yourself.
6) Never call a guy first, ask him for a date first or kiss him first. Quit being desperate and let him do the work. It’s the only time he will put forth this kind of effort, trust me on this one.
7) If you don’t shave your armpits, do not wear a tank top. If you don’t shave your legs please wear pants. Thank you.
8) Quit with the lip liner. A dark line of lipstick tracing your lips with a pastel in the middle is out of style and you look like a clown.9) Stop with the crazy big eyebrows all penciled on or the bright much too long fake fingernails. You look ridiculous.

For the Men….
1) Stop scratching your balls in public – it’s gross.
2) Stop picking your nose and flicking your boogers – this is gross too!
3) Stop talking like a pervert. That hot 20 year old chick you’re drooling over would not do you if you paid her so keep dreaming.
4) Stop being lazy and do something; preferably something that doesn’t make a mess.
5) Stop hogging the remote control and read a book. Use your brain for once.
6) Stop trying to save your receding hairline. You look old regardless but with a comb-over you look old and stupid. Shave it.
7) Stop farting on people, shaking hands is a much better way of saying hello.8) Stop being a DICK! I know it makes you feel cool in the moment but not need to try and win, be the best at, and have done everything in life. Shut your trap, we know you are full of shit!

Basically, for the guys, the best rule is to simply stop acting like a kid and act like a man and maybe, just maybe, women won’t complain as much.
To Both Sexes
1) If you are large enough that you spill over the seat on a plane or in a theater, please buy another seat. I know this is a sensitive topic for many but don’t make me suffer because you can’t say, “No!” to junk food. I diet, workout and am aware of my weight every day. Your weight should not be a discomfort to me.
2) Don’t fart in a car without warning everyone in it first. Open the window while you are at it please.
3) Turn the lights off when you leave a room and the water off when you brush your teeth. Basic, environmentally friendly rules should always apply.
4) Don’t wear clothes that are too tight. If you have to lay on a bed to zip your pants or lift a roll to put something on then don’t wear it.
5) If you wear Crocs and you are not gardening I feel sorry for you and everyone  who has to be seen with you.
6) Use your blinker, it’s there for a reason.7) Look up when you are walking or talking! Stare at your cell phone some other time.

and finally….
8) Trim, trim, trim your body. Trimming is not just for trees. Most people are not interested in being naked with animals.

 


Are you a Doormat?

Angelism: “Respect will be given to those who give respect in return. Love will be shared with those who know how to share love in return. Time will be spent with those who know how to give quality time in return. Relationships are two sided, if both people are not contributing fairly, it’s not worth the time or effort to try to make it work.”

 

“Are you a doormat?” This is a tough question to answer. Many women don’t want to admit that they get walked on as often as a doormat. It saddens me how often women are being taken advantage of. It’s not just by your partner or husband, women across the world are getting walked on by their children, parents, neighbors, co-workers, friends and family. Why is this?
Women have a hard time saying, “NO!” Women want to be everything to everybody. The perfect Mother, the loving daughter, the compassionate friend, the giving spouse, the considerate neighbor, the happy co-worker and the fun family member. This is a lot of hats to wear. There are not enough hours in the day to put on this many faces. To solve this problem women must learn to say, “No.” Start this shift by saying, “No,” more often than saying, “Yes.” People say, “No!” all the time and the world never stops moving forward. Quit feeling guilty or like you will miss out on something and start setting your boundaries so you can enjoy your life.
My biggest concern is for the women being a doormat to men. So often these tired, abused and lonely women write in to me explaining their verbal and physical abuse. Many of you are being played and stomped on daily. You feel like a slave in your own home. You must make it stop! It is your job as a human here on earth, to set a standard of respect for yourself. You are a gift, finding joy in life is an absolute necessity. Set the expectation and teach others to step up and give you what you deserve. If you are doing laundry, cleaning house, running errands, taking care of the kids, cooking meals, buying gifts, making plans, keeping in touch, balancing the budget, managing the schedule, caring for the pets, doing the grocery shopping, running the household maintenance, working towards a career and your man is kicking back on the couch relaxing from a hard days work while bossing you around and eating the meal you cooked, then you need to wake up and make a change. It’s one thing if you have the time and you committed to do these things because you enjoy them, but if it’s expected, I think you should take a look in the mirror because your image might just resemble that of a doormat. Actually a doormat may be in better condition than you.
If you are working this hard I know you are feeling resentful, tired, unappreciated, misunderstood, unloved, disrespected, deprived of attention, lost, confused, forgetful, unhealthy and possibly physically ill. There is no way to feel a sense of happiness and calm when you are burning out your batteries 24/7. You have to slow down and take ownership for putting yourself in this predicament. You have to make the change and decide what you want and what you deserve. Don’t settle.
So why do women let this happen to them? One reason is by nature women are caretakers. We feel like we want to do everything, make life better for those around us, keep the peace and take control so things get done right and our way. I say, “It doesn’t matter how the dishes or laundry gets put away as long as it’s done and I did not have to do it!” The other reason is a lack of self-respect and confidence. Women who were not given attention growing up, had a negative experience with sex, got made fun of, struggled with grades in school or were told throughout life that they were less than, grow up and take all the attention they can get. This is a huge problem because usually it’s negative attention. Hurt, angry, depressed, dysfunctional women are welcoming negative forces in their life because that’s all they know. Happiness in their mind is not an option. They actually expect to get hurt going into every situation even if it won’t turn out that way. They create the negative energy while relationships are going good. Many women fear happiness because being hurt after sharing love and joy with someone will be more painful than getting hurt by a negative situation.
My hope is that after you read this you will think about what kind of a person you are. Are you a doormat to your mate? Are you a doormat to your parents, family or friends? Anyone can take advantage of you. If you leave your door wide open all the time, I promise the takers will walk in by the dozen. Not being able to set boundaries and say, “No,” shows that you are a weak person. It shows your lack of confidence in standing up for what you know is right. It displays your desperate need to be loved and fit in no matter how people treat you. These are not the characteristics a strong, beautiful, intelligent woman wants to put into the universe.
Take a moment to think of those in your life who are the takers. Analyze why you allow them to treat you that way. Plan how you can make a change for the better. With awareness and commitment, you can change the way people treat you. If there are negative forces in your life, separate from them. Keep a safe distance so that they can’t bring you down into their dark cloud if misery. Hold your head high and be your biggest fan everyday. Only then can you give back real, unconditional, feel good love to others.