Holiday Chub!

Angelism: “Holidays = sweaters & fat pants!”

The holidays are always challenging. It’s my favorite time of year, yet the most difficult. I love parties, visiting with people, sharing gifts, and creating memories. Additionally, I like to enjoy all the food and drinks that come with these holiday moments. The sluggish, lethargic feeling of fatness that is the result of Halloween through New Years really pisses me off. I never seem to get through a holiday without packing on pounds and losing my cardio strength. It has me frustrated yet again.

I know many of us suffer like this during this time. It’s almost like an annual free pass to just get a little fat and say, “Fuck it!” I guess I should be grateful I at least fit in my fat clothes. My rolls may be spilling over my jeans but they button so that’s a plus! My boobs may be forming a tri-tit in the front center of my bra but at least it still wraps around my back and fastens. Getting dressed in yoga pants and sweaters seems OK at least during this time. The average American apparently gains about ten pounds between Thanksgiving and New Years. I have not weighed myself but I’m confident that is an accurate estimate. You would think after ten months of eating right, working out and drinking minimally that a two month splurge wouldn’t be so hazardous to my health. Turns out everything good is bad and the holidays remind me of this again and again.

I’m torn! In my head I am thrilled to start a New Year. I look forward to filling up my schedule with fun plans and setting goals to get organized and start fresh. The energy I have to do things right from day one of a new year is amazing. I tell myself that no matter how lazy I am during the holidays I will get focused come January 1st! However, until January 1st, I sit here feeling fat daily. All I want to do is drink a bottle of wine, eat some apple pie with ice cream, and watch movies while cuddling under a warm blanket near the fire. Despite my anger towards these eight weeks of laziness, I find comfort in the delicious homemade foods, fancy sweet beverages, yummy desserts, and endless treats. This comfort continually blinds me to the fact that every bite I take will add another dimple on my ass and another roll on my waste. In the moment while eating, I’m not thinking about how hard it will be to fit in my denim, or how many miles I will have to run to burn off this new muffin top; I’m focused solely on how many lazy cuddle days can I spend indoors, stuffing my face, while lounging in my pajamas. The reality always hits me the Monday after all the holidays are over and I have to get back in the real world and work. That day is awful!
Soon I will be saying, “Bye, bye pecan pie… see you next year.” Until then all I can do is embrace my holiday chub. Maybe next year I will set a goal to start November off ten pounds under my usual weight so I can eat the foods I love and not feel this chubby after. I’m getting too old for this shit!
Happy Holidays!!! 🙂

Throw Away Your Vitamins!!!

Angelism: “A healthier you does’nt come in an over the counter bottle. Stop being fooled by the media, if you are concerned about your health, go to the doctors & have your blood drawn. There, you will find answers.”

I rarely discuss health topics but vitamins and over the counter weight loss pills are crap! Much like many of you, I believed in bottled nutrients and thought they were the key to good health. In my early 20’s I used to take anti-oxidants for immunity, papaya and garlic for good digestion, and fat burners to boost my metabolism. I assumed I’d be healthier, trimmer, and lose weight, all while maintaining energy. What a waste! Now that I work in the medical field I have learned more about nutrition and how the body works. If there is one thing that has been drilled into my head, it is that vitamins are a waste of money and that taking them may do more harm than good.

Now don’t assume all vitamins are bad. Over the counter vitamins do have a purpose. They exist to replenish a nutrient in your body that you are deficient in. How do you know if you are deficient? Go to the doctor’s office and have your labs drawn. If your lab work proves you are deficient then you can take a supplement per the doctor’s orders; if not don’t waste your money. Never diagnose yourself. Your answers to better health will likely not be found in an expensive bottle at the local health food store.
Marketing thrives on informing us that certain vitamins are healthy and will enhance our life. Yes, getting your daily vitamins is important, but this does not mean you need to physically take supplements. In today’s society, food is easily accessible and nutrients are sprinkled into even the unhealthiest of foods. Many of us are nowhere near a deficiency in any one vitamin. The crappiest of breakfast cereals have powdered nutrients in it, and those high fructose corn syrup beverages many Americans drink are doused in vitamin C. Why would you need to take more vitamins? When is the last time you have known of someone having scurvy? Deficiencies are rare. If you eat enough food daily and have a variety of foods in your diet, you are not going to need supplements. If you are concerned, get your blood drawn at your doctor’s office and verify that you are OK.
As for all the other supplements available like Acai Berry pills, Green Tea Extract pills, and other fat burners and over the counter diet pills; I think they are not healthy and a waste of money. There is no answer or quick fix to health and weight loss. If you want to be healthier, look and feel better, then guess what? You will have to work hard to achieve it. Diet and exercise on a regular basis throughout your ENTIRE LIFE is key. Every day it has to be an awareness and a choice. Every day you have to want to be good to your body and take care of it. Health is not something you can buy, it is something you have to earn all on your own!

Disconnected

Angelism: “When you are out spending time with someone you have that moment to be present with your company. Human interaction is a real thing so put your cell phone down & experience it!”

Before cell phones and laptops, I used to get offended when couples sat at dinner together reading the newspaper or a book. I never understood why they were not engaging with one another or even enjoying the moment they were in. That was back in the 90’s. Today, ignoring the people you are with is common. Tables of 2-10 people, get together to hang out and eat, all while using their cell phones the entire time. Am I the only person who thinks this is awful? If you want to go out to dinner with someone, go out to dinner with them and only them. Engage with that person and experience a meaningful exchange in that moment. If you want to go to dinner with your phone then do so alone and simply text the people you thought you wanted to dine with in person.
Another thing lately that makes me crazy is the constant use of cell phones at work. Last time I checked when I was growing up, jobs did not allow us to bring TVs, cameras, video games, phones, and boom boxes to our 8 hour shift. A cell phone is now all of these things. How is it that we have evolved to a time where employees think it’s OK to Youtube videos for instant entertainment and chat all day via text with friends, while employers sit back and allow it? The attention span and awareness of people in our new fast past, technology driven world, is almost non-existent. We have had technology long enough that now people can’t remember life without it. Cell phones are our most prized possession and our most used accessory. Sadly it keeps people distracted from work, socializing, being productive in life, and most importantly – time with family.
I do not think the obsession with technology will ever change. We have been transformed and I believe it will only get worse. People will feel connected through being disconnected. Human interaction will no longer be valued and the importance of our existence will be placed on how many likes a picture gets and how many emoji’s a friend sends to express their love. People will not have the patience to sit through a movie at home without playing on their laptop and checking their cells.
Technology will slowly turn our brains to mush. We won’t engage for hours verbally nor appreciate quality time because our brains will be on constant overload surfing through the Internet for what to do next. We will become data entry specialists, simply loading details in our phones and using it as a tool to tell us where to go, what to do, and what birthday wish to send. Needing to know a phone number or address other than your own is now unnecessary. Paying attention to where you are going or memorizing places that a decade ago was important, is no longer needed thanks to Google maps and navigation systems. Our future with technology means that we will be turned on and off like a switch, and our brain’s memory function will all be stored for us in our smart phone.
As much as I love technology and am guilty of doing some of the things above that I think are ridiculous, I am curious to see how our lives evolve a decade from now. I doubt technology will enhance our intelligence or our social skills. I assume the future generations will not be able to comprehend life without a cell phone alerting them where to be, how to live, and what days are special. It breaks my heart to think that my nieces and nephews will be asked out on dates and told, “I love you,” for the first time over text or social media. Time will tell how much technology will advance or damage our humanity…. #veryscared

Mediocre Sex Is A Problem

Angelism: “Never be so busy that your vagina has to suffer neglect!”



The busy day passes and most of you go to bed and think, “All I did today was do for others.” Many things get in the way of you making time for yourself; long work days, kids that suck the life out of you, friends and family that take but never give back, and the big one a mate who continuously puts their needs above yours. All of this leaves you tired and bitter at the end of the night. You go most days giving and giving to others but not taking the time to fuel yourself up. It’s no wonder your sex life is mediocre.
By definition mediocre means: of only moderate quality; ordinary. Ladies please tell me you are not settling for ordinary when you can have extraordinary. This is not healthy. If you are not having an orgasm at least three times a week, I said, “THREE TIMES A WEEK,” you are withholding your female body from a pleasure it truly deserves. You work daily, play hard, socialize often, lack sleep, and put others needs before yours. Your vagina wants attention too. Just like you should get in three workouts a week, you need the intimate, rewarding, healthy, beneficial joy of an orgasm a few times a week. Feed your soul and make time for your sexuality to exist.
Never forget that sex is fun. It’s exciting and it satisfies the body in numerous ways. With every kiss, unexpected touch, and sexual experience you feel a tingle in your body that is thrilling. It’s the good feelings of intimacy that you should strive for and work to maintain. The teasing, love taps, hugs, smooches, communication, and desire to please one another will make you a happier woman and a more satisfied couple. If you are dealing with a non-existent or mediocre sex life, I encourage you to work at being a foxy, happy, climaxing, and full of fun woman.
This blog is not only for couples. The fact is I have learned that you are often your best sexual partner. A satisfying sex life does not have to include a mate. Now you may be thinking, “What is she talking about? I’m my own best partner?” To which I say, “Yes honey you are!” There are going to be times when you have a dry spell. During these times, if you know how to pleasure yourself you can go long term without sexual contact and not feel deprived. The goal here is to focus on turning your mediocre sex life into a weekly, rewarding, fun, and healthy one, whether it’s with someone or not. Give it a try, the benefits are worth it.

Be In This Moment

Angelism: “Stop always looking forward to a day that has not yet arrived when you can be enjoying the moment that you are in with the people that you are with.”

I am guilty of count downs and planning so far into the future that much of my day to day focus goes towards time I’m not sure I will be gifted. So often on social media sites I see people posting things like; Is it Friday yet? When will it be fall? Only 100 days til Christmas! I can’t wait for my wedding! And my favorite one is, T-20 days until my vacation. But what if that future day we keep yearning for never comes? On Monday of last week I wished it was Friday, I wanted nothing more than to be off work and to start our three day Labor Day weekend. I wished it was Friday, until Friday arrived and I was woken up by a phone call saying my mother-in-law had passed away in her sleep. In that moment I wished nothing more than to be able to reverse time, and for it to be any other moment prior to the one I was in.

The heartache and clarity that comes at the time of loss is overwhelming. I began to process what matters most and face emotions that I do not feel day to day. The presence and miracle of time became heightened and I thought; How do I want to use each day I am granted? How should I really spend my hours? What’s truly worth worrying about? I have lost many people in my lifetime; a grandmother, a grandfather, a few aunts and an uncle, a friend and a co-worker. Losing a loved one is always painful. This time around it was harder than ever before. I had a mother-in-law that girls dream of having and now she’s gone forever. Her two sons, only in their mid-30’s, are much too young to be saying goodbye to their mom, and her grand-kids, are now deprived of their grandmother’s endless love. At age 61, she earned her well deserved Angel wings. It happened that fast. On that Friday, the one I looked forward to for fun and playtime with friends, now feels like a heavy weight on my heart, a weight that may never truly lift.
So I question; How wise it is to get excited about an unknown future date that may not be available to me in the way I expect it to be? How selfish is it to want more in the future rather than enjoying what I have right now? Every time I race through a season to get to summer vacation, or count the days down until a holiday or special event, I am focused on moments I have not been gifted that bring me one step closer to my expiration date. I find it sad that I would ever spend time being excited about losing precious days of my life just to get to the ones in the future that seem like they will be more important.
I certainly don’t want to live in the past because we can’t change that which has already happened, but now more than ever, I simply want to exist in this moment. Naturally, I will still be excited for the future, it is always wonderful to look forward to days that you anticipate will be joyful and memorable. However, my new focus is to be less concerned about my tomorrows, and more present in my today’s. My goal is to be present in this moment, this breath, this memory.
RIP Brenda, after 15 years of wanting us all together at the same time you got it! XO


Getting Knocked Up Is No Accident

Angelism: “With as much information as we have available to us, there is no way you can blame an accident for getting knocked up. Either you were safe & prevented it or you didn’t.”

 

I want women around the world to start taking ownership for their actions. I can’t stand to hear, “I accidentally got pregnant.” Last time I checked, pregnancy is no accident; it is a result of two people choosing to have sex. I don’t care that you used a condom and thought you were safe. If you read the label you know that condoms are not 100% effective, in fact they are considered only moderately effective. If you are trying to avoid pregnancy then you need to know the facts. It is your job to honor and respect your body and prevent this accident. IT’S YOUR JOB TO BE RESPONSIBLE. No blaming the existence of your child on a wild drunken night. Be knowledgeable on this topic and hold your partner accountable too. After all it takes two to tango! Now for my judgements:

1) For women who think an accidental pregnancy will bring you and your man closer together, SHAME ON YOU. Bringing a child into this world in the hopes to enhance or keep your relationship is purely selfish. If you do this, I disagree with you 100%. I feel sorry for your child and your man.
2) For women who don’t care if they do or don’t get pregnant and have sex with men with no consideration of what the man may want, SHAME ON YOU. Having casual sex with a man and not knowing where his level of interest is to be a father is disrespectful. You may think with or without a man you can raise a child, so who cares? That is true, however kids always like to know who their biological parents are and allowing a man to impregnate you without knowing if he is OK with being a father is unacceptable.
3) For women who get pregnant because they want to stay at home, raise a family, and no longer work, SHAME ON YOU. I guarantee you after a few years of being a stay-at-home mom you will re-think your decision. It is no walk in the park and you will crave adult interaction. The redundancy of day to day childcare along with household chores and family responsibilities will burn you out no matter how much you enjoy being domestic. If this is your family goal I think this setup is wonderful, but if you are having a baby “accidentally” to pressure your husband to be a stay at home wife, then you are awful!
4) For women who get pregnant so that the state can take care of them, SHAME ON YOU. Get your shit together and stop mooching off welfare. Knocking out babies for a paycheck is considered cheating the system. The money is not nearly as much as you’ll need to raise a child and send them to college so do something to better yourself. Get your life together, get a job, and set a good example.
5) For women who have children because they need love in their life and want somebody to love them unconditionally, SHAME ON YOU. Bringing a child into this world with a job to love you and help you feel more secure is disgusting.
6) For the women who carelessly go out and party, get drunk and have one-night stands, SHAME ON YOU. I am all for partying and having fun but your body and your future should take priority over a drunken, stupid night that knocks you up.
7) For every inexperienced, spoiled and rebellious teenager who thinks they know it all, who then goes out and gets pregnant to spite their parents or be cool in school, SHAME ON YOU. Now you have put pressure on many lives because you are a kid with a kid.
8) For all the women who have a child because their husband, parents, family, and friends pressured them into it, SHAME ON YOU. You should never be a mom if you do not have the absolute desire to be a mom. Since you can’t get pregnant on accident you can tell these people to piss off, you are not getting knocked up for them!
I want women to plan for having children and want them for the right reasons. So many children exist with no homes. Even worse, children live in broken homes because mom didn’t take control and plan a respectable life for herself and her children. Pregnancy should be honored and desired. Children will struggle enough growing up in today’s society with guns at school, challenging educational systems, issues with bullying, peer pressures to drink, do drugs and have sex, and difficulty making friends since we have become a society of 24 hour gossip and instant gratification. Everything is expressed via email and text constantly. Personal skills are vanishing and our future generations seem detached from emotion because they are zoned out on electronic stimulation from TV, Internet and video game violence. Parents need to be present with their children and be ready for the commitment that is required.
Ladies, wake up and be aware going forward that being responsible about pregnancy is your job. You may say, “What about the man? It’s his fault too!” I realize, he can get you pregnant, but you can prevent it. IT IS ALWAYS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY! If you could get him pregnant it would be his responsibility; that’s not how the birds and the bees work. Taking sex lightly is not OK. There are ways to prevent having a baby. I should know because I have yet to even have a scare and believe me I have had plenty of sex. Using the birth control pill is very, very effective. If taken as advised, everyday and on time you will not get knocked up. If you do then you fall in the 1% and that would be considered an accident. A condom, combined with the shot or pill, is best. This way you prevent pregnancy and STD’s. Spermicides used with a condom are also quite effective.
Know your facts, protect yourself, think and plan responsibly, and give birth to a child that is wanted. Even planned kids are faced with divorce, death, challenges and daily struggles. But how nice to know that you have a child that you wanted, not one you got stuck with. For percentages on birth control effectiveness check out this information on WebMD. It is your duty to act responsibly when it comes to sex and making babies.
http://www.webmd.com/sex/birth-control/ss/slideshow-birth-control-options
Behaving in the way I describe above gives women a bad name. These are selfish actions, often intentional, that bring a child into the world under a stressful environment. Women who get knocked up for any of those reasons do not deserve to be parents. Yes, there are truly accidental circumstances. A woman can have that random irresponsible one-night stand, have a child as a result of it, act responsibly, and be a great mom. For that, I’m proud you did the right thing. That positive end result does not change the fact that it’s not the best approach to having children and likely not a situation you will promote as you raise your child.
I’m not expressing this to make moms who made any of the choices I listed above feel bad. We all make mistakes. I don’t disrespect you if you took ownership for what you did. However with today’s openness and early education about sex, you can no longer blame pregnancy on an accident. Set an example for future generations and take responsibility. Stop playing the female victim. When unlikely things occur like pregnancy because of rape (which is awful), because he had a vasectomy and you thought it was safe (very unfortunate), you fail to take the pill properly (big oops), or possibly because you are completely uneducated in what the result of having sex is (sad but can happen)… These reasons account for a very small percentage of women and are not the target audience here. Even if these unlikely events occurred, abortion or the morning after pill are options.
Be better, do better, plan better!

Confidence Is Everything

Angelism: “Money can’t buy confidence but if it could it would be worth saving every penny for.”

 
I have had a very busy summer and the most important thing I learned is that confidence is everything. After spending quality time with my family and friends, mainly touring Los Angeles (LA), and observing all the wonders that LA LA Land has to offer, I realized just how important confidence is. As you can imagine the people watching in LA gets 5 out of 5 stars, especially in summer when tourists are out and about. This year I stepped outside the norm, tried new things, and even faced a few fears. Without confidence in who you are, what you have to offer, and what you believe in, you are doomed!!!
Many of you know I am a huge fan of LA. If I had a dollar for every time I have promoted my love for the City of Angels I would be rich. But this is a city you have got to have confidence in or you will regret living here. Surrounded by wealthy, fit, and beautiful people, who are tan, energetic, and always out having fun, can be intimidating. You have to know and accept your place, not fear being one of many fish in this giant sea, and you must work hard because this city is not one that hands out any favors. I have lived here for ten years and I have loved it every day of my life. Despite the cost and traffic, there is nowhere I’d rather be. I am confident this is home and it feels good.
Although I have mad love for LA, I do have a few harsh opinions from observing life here. I think having idols or wanting to be like the Kardashians is crap! The average person does not have four hours to get ready or endless funds to look perfectly plastic. I think it’s awful how they like to pretend that’s a natural, every day look for a woman. The amount of vanity that family has is scary. Why would you want to waste so much effort and money on appearance alone? This leads to my next observation of people trying to be something they are not. Please stop. Faking your reality is ridiculous. Be who you are because real people and true friends can read right through your bullshit. Using social media outlets like Facebook to try and convince all your hundreds/ thousands of friends that you are Martha fucking Stewart or that you are happy in your crappy marriage when everyone knows you are on verge of divorce is lame. People can read through your lies and believe me they are laughing and gossiping about you. I think women who get cute for the gym and wear full make-up at 6am to work out are insecure idiots. Purchasing fake boobs that are so big I can’t comfortably hug you makes you look like a fuck-tard too. And if you get so much Botox your eyes don’t blink and so many injections your cheeks don’t move, then realize that everyone is laughing at you for that.If you want to earn respect, be appreciated for what you bring to this world, and be known as a trustworthy, confident, and real individual, DON’T BE FAKE. Have confidence and stop living in fear and being a victim to what you think you should be in this world. I am all for making an effort to look your best but there are levels of caring for yourself that are a waste of money and time. When you take the fake route as a way to feel better, your confidence is doomed because you can’t run from insecurity. Practice being you. There is only one you and you are beautiful.

Life is not easy, money doesn’t grow on trees, jobs are disposable, kids don’t listen, family members fight, accidents occur, relationships let you down, people are mean, and shit happens. Be confident that no matter what comes your way you have the smarts to figure it out. Confidence is going to bed with no worries, no wandering thoughts of negativity keeping you up, and no questioning your choices because you trust that you can handle life. I know it’s impossible to be confident about all things because it’s impossible to know everything. My advice is to be confident when you lack confidence. For example, I have no skills at gardening and I could claim a lack of confidence in that area but why? I have faith that if I really want to learn about gardening, I can do the research, start a small garden, and nurture it. If I fail, I can try again by taking a new approach to planting. Worse case scenario, if it’s hopeless after endless attempts, I can hire someone to do it for me. I am 100% confident that if I really want a garden, I can have a garden.
CONFIDENCE! Having it is the key to a healthy and wonderful life.

 


Ain’t it A Biotch Part II

Angelism: “No matter how hard I try there is always crazy shit to bitch about. Life just ain’t normal!”

Hopefully you all get a good laugh outta this. Feel free to add your own “Aint it a Biotch” comment at the bottom of this blog. I’m sure I missed a few good things to bitch about! 
1) Ain’t it a biotch when your boyfriend tells you to “Suck it in.” I’m bloated asshole!!! You try bleeding for 5 days!
2) Ain’t it a biotch when you stay up late Saturday night to watch SNL and it sucks. Not all episodes are worthy.
3) Ain’t it a biotch when you are on Facebook and your friends from another time zone update their status with the results of TV show. Keep it to yourself people, not everyone lives on the fucking East coast!
4) Ain’t it a biotch when you ask a woman, “When are you due?” and she responds with, “I am not pregnant!” Insert foot in mouth. Oops!
5) Ain’t it a biotch when you’re driving and you forget where you are going? Dumbass!
6) Ain’t it a biotch when you put on your fat pants and they are too tight. Fuck you evil calories!
7) Ain’t it a biotch when you wait an hour to eat at a restaurant and you finally get your food and it’s just OK. So not worth the wait.
8) Ain’t it a biotch when your parents talk about sex. So gross.
9) Ain’t it a biotch when someone walks in on you in a public restroom while you are doing number two. Hope you’re not wiping.
And since we are talking about shitters….
10) Ain’t it a biotch when you are simply walking around in public or sitting comfortably with a friend and out of the blue you fart and poo comes out. WTF???
11) Ain’t it a biotch when you get kicked out of a bar on your birthday because you are too drunk. Maybe this is just me but I blame my friends for giving me too many shots.
12) Ain’t it a biotch when you are in a deep sleep and that damn dump truck comes barreling through and wakes you up at 5:30am. ARGH, I hate this! You would think by now they could make those things a little quieter. Possibly a hybrid version would be good.
13) Ain’t it a biotch when you are shopping in the produce section of the supermarket and you grab an apple and a bunch of them fall on the ground. I have yet to understand why they stack the fruit and veggies the way they do.
14) Ain’t it a biotch when you are at home starving, you don’t have much food in the house and you go to make a PBJ sandwich and your bread is moldy. DAMMIT! Give me a spoon I am eating peanut butter for lunch.
15) Ain’t it a biotch when you go out to see a movie and you get there in what you consider to be plenty of time and you walk in and all that is available is the first three rows. Why do they even have the first three rows? Nobody likes them.
16) Ain’t it a biotch when you grab the remote control and go to use it and the batteries are dead. Now I gotta get my ass up off the couch and find batteries??? FML!
17) Ain’t it a biotch when you get an eyelash in your eye and you are wearing full makeup. I thought eyelashes were there to prevent shit from getting in my eyes. Lame!
18) Ain’t it a biotch when you are trying to go to bed and your man is running around the house asking you where everything is because he has no clue since he never puts anything away. And guys think women are annoying?!?! 
19) Ain’t it a biotch when you are in a public place and you go to release what you believe will be a quiet pass of gas and BOOM, everyone is well aware that it was you just shit your pants. Gas is a tricky thing.
And last but not least…
20) Ain’t it a biotch when you park your car and walk away with absolutely no regard for where you parked it. Hours later when you are done shopping you walk out and realize how stupid you were and the punishment will be walking up and down every aisle looking like clueless idiot while cursing at the cars and hitting that damn lock button on your keychain. Better hope if it’s a parking garage that you at least know what floor you were on. LOL!!!

I Wish Food Sucked!

Angelisms: “Life would be grand if steamed broccoli & carrots tasted as wonderful as double fudge cake with ice cream.”

If you follow my blogs, you know that I am no skinny-minnie. I am tall, curvy and soft and work my ass off at the gym. I have earned my girly figure by exercising harder than most thin and fit people. The benefit of all this exercise is I maintain a healthy, full, slightly overweight figure with some shape; not a fat, bouncy, blob-like body. If I don’t work out regularly, there is no doubt in my mind that I would have a big weight problem. I have fought this most of my life and I accept it. I am genetically challenged when it comes to being super fit and if vegetables tasted nearly as great as cheesecake, my journey to maintain a healthy weight would not be so complicated. Food is good, I love to eat, I always have. I like the taste of food and since I love my food hot, I tend to eat fairly fast. I appreciate many categories of food: Japanese, Chinese, Italian, Mexican, Indian and Thai, only name a few. This interest in many kinds of food does not work in my favor when trying to diet.
As if life isn’t hard enough it turns out all crap food tastes way better than all healthy food. This pisses me off. As much as I hate to complain and be negative, when it comes to managing my weight, I have real beef with the man upstairs. Many of you already know this stuff, but for shits and giggles, I will review the challenges of being a woman. For all you skinny bitches who can’t relate, laugh and be thankful you can eat whatever you want and still wear a size zero. For any of you sporting a spare tire or two, who work-out often and diet and struggle like me, enjoy every second of my rant:
“I carry around extra weight through my hips and thighs and no matter how many miles I run, how many stairs I climb, or how many pounds I lose, the extra weight stays there. I lug around boobs that have to weigh about five pounds each. Not sure what D size breasts equal in numbers, but they are not light weights to carry. Hell, I should have a ripped back just for pulling my boobs upright every day. No such luck! I have a bit of a muffin top (AKA spare tire), which I can’t figure out. I have done more sit-ups than days I have been alive and I still have a soft tummy. That is the truth people, I track this shit and it’s UN-FUCKING-BELIEVABLE that I still have chub of any kind in this area. What really blows my mind is I have been doing arm weights for over six years and no matter how many arm machines I do, my arm skin still looks slightly loose as if I don’t actually work them out at all. Solid underneath when I flex, but soft on the outside to the eyes of those around me. So unfair! On top of this, as a woman, I suffer from PMS that sneaks up on me monthly. Since this is my female blessing, the comfort I seek, the only comfort, is Ben and Jerry’s Cookie Dough ice cream. I am sure many of you will agree that the one scoop that equals a serving size, is never enough to satisfy. I prefer to eat the entire tub. Sad thing is that tub is about a full day’s worth of calories and there is no way in hell that will be all I eat in a day. DAMMIT! Carbs are evil, fat is the devil, and everything that tastes memorable goes straight to my ass!”
I hope I’m not the only one who feels this. I know mentally that overeating is bad for me. Maybe if I only had a period once a year, I could survive my crazy cravings that push me to overeat and indulge in crap as satisfying as a damn Oreo cookie cake. Multiple sugar and salt cravings every month with my menstrual cycle is a big fucking curse. A man faces none of this. Waking up with a hard on in your 30’s and 40’s, and having a beer belly because you drink every night when you sit your fat ass on the couch and watch TV is hardly what I consider a set-back. Going out with and extra set of tits on my back and cottage cheese on my thighs that is visible through my yoga pants and khakis is not cool. The worse part is, not only do I crave something as yummy as a chocolate shake from McDonald’s, but I want the extra salty french fries to go with it. Knowing this, saying it out loud and now writing it, makes me feel like a complete moron. Intellectually there is no excuse, my cravings should be controlled, and food should be looked at as an energy source only. Food solely as an energy source sounds awful! Sorry, when I am hungry and I have the option of a glass of water, tofu and vegetables or some beer, extra cheesy bacon mac and cheese and fried chicken, we all know which one is actually going to go in my mouth.
So I am back to, “I wish food sucked!” Life would be much easier if bad food did not exist. For those of you who can eat all you want and stay the same weight, “I secretly hate you!” Ha ha! I don’t really hate you but it felt good to say that. For all of you who can relate to me, I feel your pain. I wake up every day knowing that if I want dinner followed by a delicious dessert, I will be spending a minimum of an hour on the treadmill the next morning. I don’t, and won’t, ever deprive myself of delicious foods. For me it’s, “Exercise of be Fat,” and since I like to eat, the gym has become my best friend. I don’t know how to start a day without a workout. I don’t promote a chip guzzling, cookie crunching, butter overdosing lifestyle, where you eat whatever you want and join a gym to make your reckless eating habits OK. That is not my point. I do make healthy choices 75% of the time. I count my calories most days and I like nutritious foods. I make the effort to keep a fridge and pantry stocked with good for me stuff. I pay attention to what I eat and make sure it offers the nutritional value that my body needs. I buy organic and fresh foods which are helpful since my ability to portion control is nonexistent. Because I make an effort to eat right a majority of the time, I don’t deprive myself of splurging here and there on delicious foods that keep me full-figured.
I can’t say it enough, “I wish food sucked!” At least if all food tasted plain and boring, I would eat only for the purpose of refueling and survival. If celery sticks satisfied me the same way a Butterfinger did at the movies, I would not have to sweat for what feels like forever at the gym. It blows that I have to work-out hard to have some mouth watering pleasures. I think it’s an unnecessary evil. It’s obviously not going away so I accept it and keep plugging at my goal to lose fifteen pounds this year. I am only about three pounds down, so I have to get cracking.
PS: The first person who can invent a nutrition packed bowl of carrots, peas and beans that taste like a tub of Ben and Jerry’s Cake Batter Ice Cream will truly be a zillionaire. I will buy stock in it for sure!


 

 


Never FAKE the “BIG O”

Angelism: “Get out of your own head & chase your physical wants & desires.”

Promise me, from this moment forward, you will never, ever, ever, fake an orgasm. Raise your hand and swear to me that you will make it a point to always achieve the “BIG O”, preferably multiple times if you can. If you fail at the “BIG O” the only valid excuse is you were super drunk or so exhausted you slept through it. Not reaching orgasm is the worse possible mistake a woman can make in a relationship. When you fake it, the only person who suffers is you. Your body warms up, the juices start flowing, your downstairs gets excited and starts its engine, and then your brain steps in and somehow becomes your vagina’s worst enemy. You deserve to feel the tingling, overwhelming, body twitching, toe-curling, steamy joy of a climax. Faking this pleasure eventually leads to frustration and resentment towards your partner.
When it comes to sex I always say that “doing it” needs to be a priority. I believe that women should orgasm first. In my experience, once a man has finished, sex is not all that exciting and his effort to keep up the good work fades fast. If you don’t climax first, plan on walking away sexually frustrated. However if you practice going first, he will quickly follow. All that clenching of the vagina around his penis will finish him off perfectly. 
Now if you are embarrassed by this topic that may be your vagina’s first problem. There is no reason to be shy or feel any shame. Sex is a wonderful thing and it’s best when you are achieving orgasm. The following are some of the reasons women don’t orgasm:
1) They put the partners needs first
2) Lack of knowledge of their body and how to climax
3) Embarrassed to orgasm in front of someone
4) Discomfort having sex with their partner 
5) Lack of confidence and low self esteem
6) Trauma from past such as molestation or rape
7) They feel it takes too long to get to climax so why bother
8) Too tired from work, kids, family or stress
9) Faith or religious beliefs get in the way
These are valid reason but nonetheless hold women back from pleasure. Never make up excuses that lead to unhappiness in the bedroom. Don’t focus on why you can’t orgasm, focus on ways you will orgasm. Experiencing pleasure with your mate is one of the best parts of a relationship. Without it, why bother? The dishes, house-cleaning, raising kids and managing the bank accounts need some relief. My solution, HAVE SEX!!! A good way to keep yourself interested is to masturbate, explore your body, and learn what works for you. Work on finding a mate that you feel comfortable sharing your sexual needs with. Good chemistry is important. It is your responsibility to show your lover what works for you and try new things along the way to enhance your experiences. 
I hope to encourage, inspire, and motivate women to put their sexual desires first. Believe me if you are satisfied in the sex department you will live a happier life. You will sleep better, feel healthier, have more energy, be more loving, and glow more than you ever have. Put your relationship first and make sure your needs are being met. Don’t let the negative, self-sabotaging thoughts stop your physical desires. If you need practice, or are single and want to warm up, buy a vibrator and get to it. I ask that you don’t always rely on a vibrator for stimulation as no man’s penis can compete with the sensation of AAA batteries. Mix it up so that your body can respond to flesh and toys.
Now I understand that abuse or fear may hold some of you back from enjoying sex. I would suggest you get help from a therapist so you can work towards being open to a loving and sexual relationship. I also know that accidents happen which change physical abilities in the bedroom; aging does too. Not all couples can have sex or want to. Sex is not for everyone. However, for the majority of women who are capable and wanting more satisfaction between the sheets, always set the standard to achieve the “BIG O” every time you do it. Don’t stop till you get enough! You deserve it and your man will be thrilled that you are enjoying the ride.