Posted on

Never FAKE the “BIG O”

Angelism: “Get out of your own head & chase your physical wants & desires.”

Promise me, from this moment forward, you will never, ever, ever, fake an orgasm. Raise your hand and swear to me that you will make it a point to always achieve the “BIG O”, preferably multiple times if you can. If you fail at the “BIG O” the only valid excuse is you were super drunk or so exhausted you slept through it. Not reaching orgasm is the worse possible mistake a woman can make in a relationship. When you fake it, the only person who suffers is you. Your body warms up, the juices start flowing, your downstairs gets excited and starts its engine, and then your brain steps in and somehow becomes your vagina’s worst enemy. You deserve to feel the tingling, overwhelming, body twitching, toe-curling, steamy joy of a climax. Faking this pleasure eventually leads to frustration and resentment towards your partner.
When it comes to sex I always say that “doing it” needs to be a priority. I believe that women should orgasm first. In my experience, once a man has finished, sex is not all that exciting and his effort to keep up the good work fades fast. If you don’t climax first, plan on walking away sexually frustrated. However if you practice going first, he will quickly follow. All that clenching of the vagina around his penis will finish him off perfectly. 
Now if you are embarrassed by this topic that may be your vagina’s first problem. There is no reason to be shy or feel any shame. Sex is a wonderful thing and it’s best when you are achieving orgasm. The following are some of the reasons women don’t orgasm:
1) They put the partners needs first
2) Lack of knowledge of their body and how to climax
3) Embarrassed to orgasm in front of someone
4) Discomfort having sex with their partner 
5) Lack of confidence and low self esteem
6) Trauma from past such as molestation or rape
7) They feel it takes too long to get to climax so why bother
8) Too tired from work, kids, family or stress
9) Faith or religious beliefs get in the way
These are valid reason but nonetheless hold women back from pleasure. Never make up excuses that lead to unhappiness in the bedroom. Don’t focus on why you can’t orgasm, focus on ways you will orgasm. Experiencing pleasure with your mate is one of the best parts of a relationship. Without it, why bother? The dishes, house-cleaning, raising kids and managing the bank accounts need some relief. My solution, HAVE SEX!!! A good way to keep yourself interested is to masturbate, explore your body, and learn what works for you. Work on finding a mate that you feel comfortable sharing your sexual needs with. Good chemistry is important. It is your responsibility to show your lover what works for you and try new things along the way to enhance your experiences. 
I hope to encourage, inspire, and motivate women to put their sexual desires first. Believe me if you are satisfied in the sex department you will live a happier life. You will sleep better, feel healthier, have more energy, be more loving, and glow more than you ever have. Put your relationship first and make sure your needs are being met. Don’t let the negative, self-sabotaging thoughts stop your physical desires. If you need practice, or are single and want to warm up, buy a vibrator and get to it. I ask that you don’t always rely on a vibrator for stimulation as no man’s penis can compete with the sensation of AAA batteries. Mix it up so that your body can respond to flesh and toys.
Now I understand that abuse or fear may hold some of you back from enjoying sex. I would suggest you get help from a therapist so you can work towards being open to a loving and sexual relationship. I also know that accidents happen which change physical abilities in the bedroom; aging does too. Not all couples can have sex or want to. Sex is not for everyone. However, for the majority of women who are capable and wanting more satisfaction between the sheets, always set the standard to achieve the “BIG O” every time you do it. Don’t stop till you get enough! You deserve it and your man will be thrilled that you are enjoying the ride. 
Posted on

Groomed, Soft, & Emotional Men… WTF?

Angelism: “As hot and pretty as a groomed man can be, he should never take longer to get ready or be sexier & softer than me!”

Has anyone else noticed how incredibly groomed, soft, and emotional men have become? I have always found well trimmed, clean shaven, and fit men attractive, but how pretty do they need to be? A fancy man shows he is motivated to take care of himself and that he wants to live a healthy and long life; I can dig that. However the new obsession for men to pluck eyebrows, match clothes, buy shiny accessories, highlight their hair, sport fake tans, trim everything, get Botox and muscle implants, use man purses, and wear shoes with lifts in them is officially false advertising and is more vanity than I can handle. I get that we all want to look our best, but when a man is being waxed regularly and getting more manicures and pedicures than I am, it’s weird. 
The man continues to evolve as years pass. Just a decade ago, before Ryan Seacrest and Justin Timberlake hit the scene with a metro sexy style, I thought men were way more tough, fun, and rugged. It seems I woke up one day and it was OK for men to cry, have feelings, go to therapy, and stop doing man things. When I was growing up a man would come home from a physical job, drive up in his dirty truck, go inside and kiss his wife, say hi to the kids, take out the trash, tend to the yard, feed the dog, and then crack open a beer and watch sports and hang out with the family. Today’s man leaves his all day desk job, hands a $20 to the valet guy in exchange for his tiny washed Prius, swaps out his work shirt for a fashionable plaid, then meets coworkers for happy hour where he claims he is networking but really he’s eating fancy food and ordering some foo-foo drink that the girls like while singing some old Bon Jovi song that plays on the jukebox. To complete his 6am-9pm day he comes home, sets his laptop and gym bag down, (because lunch break workouts are totally cool), heads straight to the restroom while texting his coworkers that he’s home safe, showers, brushes and flosses teeth, conditions his hair and then crawls in bed. He then kisses his wife and watches Desperate Housewives of Beverly Hills with her all while checking his Facebook and playing video games on his phone until he passes out. OMG!!!! 
Maybe growing up watching Rambo, Terminator and Robocop gave me a false sense that men should be big, strong, dirty, intimidating, cool and rugged. I certainly didn’t imagine I would ever see men discussing designer jeans, their fear of being bald or fat, their interest in doing yoga instead of Pilate’s, and their preference for Starbucks lattes over Coffee Beans. Possibly I have lived in LA too long, the men here are quite fancy. Don’t assume that being a soft guy is bad. That is not what I am saying. However if you spend a lot of time primping, dieting, and worrying about your outfit and whether or not it works with what your wife is wearing, you may have lost your man card. Remember to compliment your woman rather than fish for compliments on how great your ass looks in them jeans. Fix the car when it’s broken, don’t send a lady to the mechanic. Set up the yard work contract if you don’t want to get your nails dirty and put out the mouse-traps and kill the damn spiders. Put together the kids toys and take out the trash. Lift some weights at the gym and maybe pass on the yoga and green tea addiction. I’m proud that men are flexible and they drink antioxidants but a man with a few calluses on his hands and a 5 o’clock shadow is hot. I like to know my man is smart enough to not create trouble but quick enough to throw a punch and protect me when the moment demands it.
So to all the soft men out there, please go do some man shit. In my house my dad replaced the oil, changed the tires, fixed the burnt out lights, painted the house, built furniture, maintained our garden and our hot tub, fixed the roof, and even organized his man tools; all while drinking a six pack of Budweiser. If you want to be treated like a man stop acting like a vagina. It’s OK to be a little metro and care more than the generations before, but be a sexy new kinda man who gets man shit done. Please only cry once or twice a year. I am all for the feminizing men but not at the loss of my handsome, protective, rough and tough dudes! I have a period every month, I get to cry, not you!
Posted on

Love Is My Religion

Angelism: “Love is my religion; with a good heart, a good intention, and an open mind, love can conquer all.” 

Today I had a rush of emotions and all I wanted to do was hug all those around me and spread love. I saw the movie 42 and felt such an internal sadness watching so much hate during a very racist time. This is the third film in the last few years that I have seen that has left me with a heavy heart. The Help, Django Unchained, and 42 all address the history of racism. These films make me grateful that I was fortunate enough to be raised in a different time and mindset. I happen to be a mixed breed with many nationalities in my gene pool. I have family from Spain, Italy, Portugal, and Poland. Here in America I was fair enough to be considered white. I never really had to face racism, I can’t even imagine how how hard that would be so I won’t even try. The closest thing to racism I experienced was people assuming I was Mexican because my last name ended in “ez”.
Growing up in California I feel I have always been a piece of a melting pot. Our state is diverse and I am proud that I was raised here. I am grateful that I learned love for all kinds of people. I loved my fellow classmates that were Asian, Filipino, African American, and Mexican. I love that I lived near San Francisco where I got to befriend some people in the gay community and witness their challenges. I worked at the GAP for ten years and remember feeling ecstatic when they announced they would be one of the first companies to offer health benefits to domestic partnerships. Now living in Los Angeles, I have been touched by the Jewish community and their traditions, religious beliefs, and challenges in history. I have traveled across the country, from Georgia to California, and unfortunately witnessed some states that still see in color. More reason for me to remain in California. These examples name just a few of my memorable experiences. I’ve learned that life is about loving, being kind to your neighbor, and being open to accepting new things. I embrace change, I remind myself to think outside the box, and I always consider how I would feel if the roles were reversed and it was me that was being judged and discriminated against.
I decided in the last few years that my religion would be LOVE. As much as I respect those who go to church, I respect those who don’t just as much. I grew up Catholic and for me church was limiting and had a way of making me feel guilty. I don’t need to feel guilty for anything, I don’t do anything wrong. I realized I could practice faith on my own. If I want to get closer to God’s story I will read the bible and interpret it for myself. I have faith in a higher power, I have love for my neighbors, I live an honest life, and although I make some mistakes here and there, I know I am genuinely a good person. All I need in this life is to share LOVE. So thank you Mr. Jackie Robinson, #42, for reminding me yet again today that love and openness to change is what will make our world a better place.

 

Posted on

Love Lessons…

Angelism: “Love may not be everything, but it is definitely something. Never underestimate its power.”

At the end of this month Scott and I celebrate our 13 year anniversary. It’s crazy to me that we have been together this long. It still feels new so I guess that is a good sign. As I reflect over our years together, and think back on all that we have been through, I realize that this is a love that has had plenty of highs and lows, fears and comforts, fights and agreements, fun and frustration, love and lust, disappointment and excitement, confusion and resentment, joy and passion, and most importantly friendship and commitment. I’m so proud that we have never given up. There was a time around year seven mark where we struggled. We were going different directions and not getting along. We decided to do the work and get on the same page rather than go our separate ways. Our love grew stronger because of it.
Through this relationship journey I have learned many things. I look forward to more loving and learning in the years to come. I know this love may not last forever but my wish is that it will. In the meantime I cherish these love lessons.
1) I’ve learned that love is in everything that you do. Love is a kiss goodnight or a romantic getaway. It’s the bite of food you share at dinner and the door he opens when you get to the car. Love is the fight that gets resolved without words, and the hand that gets held on a movie date. Love is in little things every day.
2) I’ve learned that love is mastering a sincere apology. It’s OK to be wrong or misunderstood. Saying, “I’m sorry” and meaning it, with no buts, no explanations, and no justifications, has been my biggest lesson. A simple, “I’m sorry. Please forgive me,” goes a long way.
3) I’ve learned that love is making time to date and have fun. Playing together whether it’s miniature golfing, a theme park, the water slides, a weekend getaway, or dinner and a movie; adventures always brings you closer together.
4) I’ve learned that love is patient. Not everything goes as planned and life takes you for turns you least expect. Just breathe and be patient.
5) I’ve learned that to love means to surrender control. Letting him take control sometimes allows me to trust and experience new things.
6) I’ve learned that it’s not your intention behind your words but how they are received by your partner. What I meant to say doesn’t always come across. Your good intentions may be misunderstood for negative ones and love is respecting how your partner feels regardless of how it hurts your ego.
7) I’ve learned that sex should be at the top of the love list. I don’t care how tired you are, how much your head hurts, or how much work you have to finish. Remind your mate that you are sexually attracted to them every chance you get.
8) I’ve learned that love means to be vulnerable. Being raw and honest with your partner will lead to comfort and a soft place to fall.
9) I’ve learned that I’m not perfect, I can be a bitch, I do make bad decisions, and at times my expectations are unreasonable. Live with anyone longer than a few years and you will quickly learn what you need to work on to better yourself. Love is recognizing you can not fix the other to be as perfect as you.
10) I’ve learned that love is respecting your mates family, regardless of your opinion of them. Every family has their own dysfunction; respect boundaries and don’t dwell in the drama.
11) I’ve learned that it’s OK to fight for what you believe in. True love respects differences and grows stronger because of them.
12) I’ve learned that love means you sometimes you have to do what you don’t want to do to make your partner happy. Compromise is key. Go to that work dinner, attend that family event, or see a movie you would normally never see. I assure you, you will want that same respect in return.
13) I have learned that pointing the finger only makes you look stupid. There is no need to make someone WRONG so you can be RIGHT. To love means to talk it out without placing guilt or wrongdoing.
14) I’ve learned that a wink, a hug, a kiss, or a nod go a long way. Recognizing one another in a room is always a great way to show love.
15) I’ve learned to love means to listen. There is a difference between hearing what was said and understanding what you have heard. I now listen with focus and show more concern about what the other is saying rather than what I want to say next.
16) I’ve learned that love is forgiving. You can get in fights that seem like deal breakers and a month later not even remember what you fought about.
17) I’ve learned that the grass is not always greener on the other side so don’t take for granted what you have. If your love is good on the majority of the days, trust that it’s worth it and believe in the power of love to see you through.
18) I’ve learned that love is a chance you take. It’s a risky adventure but a fun one if it’s true.
19) I’ve learned that trust is a must, without trust you have nothing.
20) I’ve learned that you must remain independent of one another. If you don’t nurture your career, friendships, and family outside of your relationship you will lose who you are. Love grows when you maintain independence.
21) I’ve learned to keep him guessing. Be a fun, unique, clever, inventive, and exciting person. Acting a little crazy sometimes keeps love interesting.
22) I’ve learned that life throws you curve-balls. Just when you think you know all there is to know about love, life hits you with a reality check and you must learn all over again. Embrace change together.
23) I’ve learned that I need to stay strong when he is weak. In return he will do the same. Try not to fall down at the same time. Having a cheerleader in your corner who understands you when you are down is what love is all about.
24) I’ve learned that we are different people, and that what I once loved most about my partner is often what I hate. For example, I love he is passive, it means I can take control. However that passiveness sometimes means a lack of motivation to do things or makes decisions which then means I feel pressured to do everything. I love it but I hate it. Learn to recognize these judgements and move right on through. To love is not to change but embrace.
25) I’ve learned that love is seen and felt just as much as it is expressed.
26) I’ve learned that I can’t say, “I love you,” enough. Everyday is a new day, and every day deserves to begin and end with, “I love you.”
Love is taking the good from each moment. If you have something worth holding onto, trust it. If it doesn’t work out that’s OK. Love is everywhere. Some people love many individuals in a lifetime, others have one soul mate for life. No matter what your story, learn your lessons, change, grow, and celebrate. When in love, not every day is easy, but every day is worth it!

 

Posted on

Cheating… Who is to Blame?

Angelism: “The quickest way to ruin a relationship is to cheat. Love doesn’t last long when there is no trust.”

My boyfriend and I have very different viewpoints on cheating and who is to blame. Cheating has never been an issue between us since we have both been faithful, at least to my knowledge, but the challenge is we think differently about who takes the heat for infidelity. So who do you point the finger at when your mate turns to another person for sex and intimacy?
I feel that a relationship is between two people, the two that made the commitment to each-other. The person who needs to stay strong and be true to me is the one who vows to do so. I need to be faithful in return. When a third party gets involved, I expect that my mate will be responsible for fighting off any urges to stray in order to remain monogamous to me. If my man cheats on me with a person at his work, a bartender, a stripper, or a friend of a friend who I have never met, do I blame him, her, or both? This is tough question to answer because there are many different opinions. I happen to feel that the person responsible would be my man, and my man feels that both people are to blame.
It seems in society that people like to put the blame on the third party equally when the one they should really have frustration and disappointment with is their mate who shattered the trust. I agree that the third party who gets involved with a spoken for person has done something irresponsible, but it happens, and people cheat everyday and don’t feel guilty about it. If they truly felt guilt they wouldn’t do it. If a stranger has the hots for your man, knows he is taken, but wants to get naked with him anyway, who are you to think she should hold back? What can you really expect from a stranger? Does this make her a bad person, or a human acting on impulse and living in the moment? If I sleep with a waiter while on a girls only vacation, the waiter is not to blame, I am.
The divorce rate in this country is over 50%. People are obviously cheating often, don’t think you are exempt. The sooner you accept this as a possibility, the less painful it will be if you are faced with it. I have family members and friends who have cheated and I don’t think they are evil, I think they are human. It takes a strong, happy, committed, loving, honest and respectful relationship, to stay totally true and faithful for decade after decade. That kind of commitment requires you to stop your hormones and desires every time they stray to thoughts of, “What if?” You have to be excited about going home to the same lover every day of your life and reinvent yourself over and over again so you don’t get bored. You have to be a person of so much integrity and faith that when and if you have desires to be involved with someone outside of your relationship, you choose not to act on it and instead go home to your partner and work it out. Realistically, how many people actually fall into this highly honorable category? A 100% true relationship requires a lot of work and willpower to avoid every temptation along the way for years and years.
Although I say I would only blame the lover that actually cheated on me, I have one exception to that rule. This is what confuses my boyfriend. I told him if he ever cheated on me with a dear friend, I would blame them both. The way I see it is anyone who I know and love, who has a commitment to me to respect and be loyal to me, should not engage in this kind of promiscuous behavior behind my back. So yes, be pissed if your best friend sleeps with your man. I say disown them both for betraying your trust. However, if he hooks up with a bartender, then it’s not her fault. There are many people in this world who have no real feelings. They sleep with someone without any regard for the other person. Many of them don’t even know there is another person to be concerned about. You can blame this third party person all you want but the fact is, if they cared they would not have done it. The person who was supposed to care, have your back and honor you no matter what, is your partner. When your mate sleeps with another person with no regard or respect for how it will make you feel, that is the enemy, that is who you blame.
My boyfriend feels both people are to blame so we agree to disagree. I get what he is saying to a certain extent. I don’t think women or men should encourage, or put effort towards having sex with married/ committed people unless both parties agree it’s OK. I think passing the buck to the third party is a way of blaming someone other than the love of your life for ruining your relationship. I admire that my man cared enough about this topic to have a conversation about it. I’m also grateful that our differences of opinion didn’t get in the way of us having sex later that day. It amazes me that after almost 13 years together we can still challenge each other’s thoughts like this and be mature about it.
What do you think about cheating? For me, anyone who gives into cheating is not a person of enough integrity and respect for me to be with, or waste my time being mad at. I would cut the ties, forgive, never forget, and walk away knowing I did nothing wrong. When someone cheats, everything is lost; faith, trust, hope, love, and a future of comfort and commitment. You feel a pain that is unexplainable and in a moments time all you thought you had, the love you feel existed all those years, is over. Having full trust again of the person who strayed is impossible. The unfaithfulness will haunt you if you stay. In my opinion, someone who cheats doesn’t deserve your love, move on.
Posted on

Exercise or be FAT!

Angelism: “If you don’t move your body you lose your body.

 
“Exercise or be fat!” I have come to the realization that without regular exercise and constant awareness of what I put in my mouth, I will be fat; not a little fat, a lot fat. Some women have the luxury of eating all they want, never working out, and being a size zero. Other women can workout a day or two a week, watch their diet, and maintain their weight. I don’t fit in these categories. I look at pizza and my zipper pops open.
A decade ago I had two knee surgeries that had me gimping around for eight months. This situation contributed to a 25 pound weight gain. I was officially the heaviest I had ever been and tipped well into the 200 pound category which was more than I could wrap my head around. I was miserable and my problem solver was Ben and Jerry’s ice cream for comfort. Every day recovering from knee surgeries I struggled with pain and felt defeated. The additional weight I was lugging around made me weak and weighed me down. I became lazy in life for a short time and it took a toll on my body instantly. My cholesterol numbers went up and I was winded walking up one flight of stairs. I knew if I did not do something immediately, my weight would skyrocket. I made a commitment to myself to exercise a minimum of three days a week for the rest of my life. This was quite a big goal. I started out with 30 minutes of cardio three days a week, then increased it to four. After a few months I was spending more time at the gym and feeling much better. It took me three years of being cautious of what I put in my mouth, and a minimum of three days a week of exercise, to lose the 20+ pounds I gained. Eight months to gain it and 36 months to lose it. What a joke!!! I know many of you can relate. Regardless of how long it takes me to get to my ideal weight, being healthy is my goal. I am about 10-15 pounds overweight according to the doctors, but I am 5’10 and fit. Maybe I’m not fit on paper, but in real life, I can kick some ass. I ran a half marathon with two bum legs and 188 pounds of strong and healthy woman curves.
Now my focus is to forever stay away from that 200 number no matter what. Today I biked for 5 miles, walked one mile, did 45 minutes of heavy arm weights, and stretched. I will be lucky to maintain my weight for the day. I didn’t eat like a pig, but I didn’t deprive myself either. I have tried all kinds of diets and nothing makes me skinny. I love all types of foods, variety keeps my taste buds happy. So does wine! All this training at the gym and no rewards would suck! Since genetics is not on my side, if I want to enjoy food, I can fight obesity by MOVING. So my quote, “Exercise or be fat,” is a reminder of the consequence I face if I’m lazy. I wish this was not the circumstance but I accept it. For all you skinny girls, be grateful; for those of you needing some motivation to shed the extra pounds, maybe this story will be that little push. Get moving, it makes all the difference.
Before I sign off, I want to announce that I am proud that my goal to exercise a minimum of three days a week has not been broken for a decade. I have fit in my workouts on weeks I was sick, traveling, tired, or too busy. The result is I FEEL GREAT! I was serious the day I made this choice to live well; no turning back now. Unless someone runs me over, good luck stopping me!
Step 1 – Know your number. If you don’t own a scale, get one. The number does not lie!
Posted on

Happy Valentine’s Day

Angelism: “Love comes in many forms. Always love yourself first so that you can be open to love others. Welcome love in your life, for when it’s real it can truly help you evolve into a better person.” 
In the spirit of Valentine’s Day I want to celebrate love. Not just my love for a significant other, but the love that that I share with family, friends, children, neighbors, Facebook buddies, coworkers, pets, and all who are dear to my heart. I always say, my religion is love. I can’t imagine life without it. 
For some of you, this may not be a Valentine’s Day filled with wine, food, long stem roses, and love poems. There is nothing wrong with that. Instead share your love with people you appreciate and are grateful for. All of us are still kids inside who love a sweet treat or card from someone who cares. If you wish to receive love, think first about how you are giving it. If you have a lover, love them even more today. Set aside any resentments, eliminate negative thoughts, and show your lover on Valentine’s Day some unconditional love. Whining about not getting gifts from your partner or punishing them for a lack of effort will kill any possibility of a special day. If you are feeling lonely or desperate stop now. Being single is a wonderful thing. Take the day to love yourself. Buy yourself some flowers, go to a spa or get some of your favorite chocolates. Plan quality time with a friend, family member or coworker. Get yourself out there and share the special day positively. If you are in limbo because you sort of have a date, but you’re not sure since it may just be a bootie-call, then I beg of you to get your head out of you ass and get it together. If you have a shady lover in your life, and you don’t know by now if they want to spend Valentine’s Day with you, then guess what? They don’t want to spend Valentine’s Day with you. Make other plans! Don’t sit by the phone, wait by the door, or stalk your favorite hang-out, hoping to hear from a Valentine. Move on and celebrate Valentine’s Day with those who are deserving of your love and attention. 
Happy Valentine’s Day to all of you. May your day be full of LOVE! 
Posted on

My Time of the Month SUCKS!

Angelism: “Whoever invented the female period is an asshole!”

I assume you know exactly what I am talking about when I say, “My time of the month SUCKS!” Most women have this in common for about 40+ dreadful years. Every month I get a visit and if I didn’t I’d shit my pants as my life would change forever; kids are not in my plan. If you are at all confused, I’m referring to my monthly period. The awful weeklong bloodbath in my pants is also known as: Aunt Flow, The Rag, Shark Week, The Dreaded Dragon, TOM (time of month), The Crimson Wave, The Bloody Mary, In Heat, The Curse, and lastly but most classy, Riding the White Pony. All very sexy don’t you think? I never realized how quickly 21 days can go by until day 21 creeps up on me, leaving me so bloated the buttons on my pants feel pressure to rip open, and my boobs can barely be stuffed into my roomiest of bras. Going up an entire cup size overnight the day or two before my period sucks! Great for my boyfriend, he thinks it’s awesome, however during this time I want him to stay as far away as possible since my boobs feel like a pile of bricks. I shove myself in a bra and pray to not have a tri-tit explosion out of the top of my shirt as it would be highly inappropriate at work. Finish these symptoms off with stabbing cramps, gas, zits, the shits, and an overall hormone and odor change, and YUM, I think that’s a recipe for a great date night? NOPE! Time to cancel my plans. FML!!! 
My crankiness aside, having a period in my opinion is truly a curse. PMS and everything that goes with it is awful. We go an average of four decades dealing with this shit, keeping the maxi pad and tampon industry in business, just for the option to have children. It’s feeling unfair to me, especially since I don’t want kids. As much as I respect our higher power, I’m not sure what God was smoking when he put this plan in place. Clearly he had too much wine that night and was very upset with women. The average American family has something like 2.6 kids. Hmmm, so you get to tough through a period every month for 40+ years to be pregnant for maybe two or three years of your life? Even if it takes you a few tries to get knocked up, even back in the day when we didn’t live as long… 40 years of baby making potential?!?! Eff you! This process is proof that the female body a fucking machine. Screw hunting and building a house boys; a woman is a super-human, baby making machine for four decades, bleeding a week straight for 12 weeks out of every year, all with the potential to nourish life with our big fat boobies! Top that bullshit! 

Maybe the PMS hormone imbalances that lead to a woman’s crazed moments truly are to make men insane. If that’s the case then great, something has to wake them up to experience the hell we face on a bad cramp day. Shit gets done when Shark Week arrives or somebody dies! I think many of you know exactly where I’m coming from on this. Please tell me I’m not alone!!!

Posted on

Surviving the Race

Angelism: “Every step in life has its moment. It might be your first step, your last, your easiest step or your most challenging one. Whether it is a step up, step down, or a step to the side, no matter what kind of step, enjoy what it brings to your story. Every step you take is a memory that shapes your personal journey in life.” 
Life has challenges every day. Many challenges we take on to prove something to ourselves that we were not sure was possible. Back in the fall, one of my best-friends since high-school signed up for a half marathon. I instantly thought she was crazy. When she called to share the news I got excited for her but still thought she had no clue what she was getting herself into. This friend of mine, who rarely asks me for anything, insisted that I help motivate her. She knew I worked out regularly and wanted me to hold her accountable. Wanting to be there for her I said, “Yes!” I even offered to train with her. She was thrilled and sent me the run schedule. I was officially in for 12 weeks of torture!
Now, I live in Los Angeles and my friend resides in Houston. My promise to her was to train with her side by side so we could tackle the workout plan together. I knew this was a promise I would soon regret, but I wanted to stay committed. Having attempted to train for a half marathon in my past, I knew she would start to feel defeated around the 8-10 mile mark. This meant I had to stay strong especially at the end. After a few weeks of training I had a crazy idea. I thought how great it would be if I could fly out there and do this with her. From that point on, I worked to figure out a way to get to Houston and spend this memorable event with her.
Luckily her husband was on board with this idea, as well as my boyfriend and another dear friend of ours. We agreed it would be a surprise, she would be clueless, and we would give her the shock of her life. Scared the secret would be exposed, we kept it on the down-low from our friends and family. Successfully keeping it hush-hush, we arrived the Friday before the race and she had no idea anything was up. I pretended to be at work texting her about my stressful day, when all along I was really eating lunch with her hubby down the street from her office in Houston. We decided we would hide in her closet when she got home. When she drove up we took our place in the dark closet like little kids playing hide and go seek. She came in the house after a long day at work, she went to her closet to change (thinking her hubby was taking her out to dinner), and BAM! There the three of us were, screaming and running out of the closet to surprise her and support her on her special day. She was shocked!!! She put her hands over her face and cried – we cried, we laughed, she asked questions, and we cried some more. When the shock wore off we hugged, we jumped for joy, we acted like kids and we all agreed that moment will forever be a highlight in our life. This experience reminded me how important it is to do things like this for those you love. Life is all about moments and when you can have one that feels this good, an instant feeling of raw emotion that creates a warm and fuzzy feeling inside your heart, it is worth all the effort to make it happen. We were all floating on a cloud of happy.
Now that the fun of the surprise was over, we had to face the race. Sunday morning was brutal. We were up at 4am, we spent an hour in the car driving to the race location, and then we weaseled our way through the thousands of people to get ready for the half marathon. Our nerves were at an all time high. We had sweaty palms and goosebumps because we wanted so badly to do well. We were scared to death at how hard the next few hours would be. We heard the stories of people passing out, throwing up, peeing themselves, and tripping and scraping up their bodies. We knew that a rash in the bra and crotch area was likely as were blisters on our feet. Through the fear we had one main goal: TO FINISH THE RACE! Our second goal: TO NOT STOP RUNNING! I am thrilled to report: “MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!” We came in under the 12 minute mile goal we set for ourselves and we never stopped running once. We were overwhelmed with gratitude to have accomplished this challenge together. We crossed that finish line and the tears poured out as the leg pain set in. We did it! 13.1 miles complete!
I learned that committing to push yourself harder than you ever have before is very frightening. The doubt, fear and pain that creeps up in your head while you run for hours on end is a mental mind-fuck every step of the way. The will and motivation to finish is there but the desire to give up and quit haunts you. Neither of us wanted to let each other down, so we both pushed hard not just for ourselves but for each-other. I am blessed that we survived the race in one piece. I am more blessed that I have a friend who has been with me in every step of my life. This race represented to me that no matter how many steps I take in life, no matter how hard my challenges get, or how scared I am to do the things I want to do, I am not alone. Our commitment to get through life together will always be there. Thank you BFFF!!! And thank you NIKE for shoes that stood the test of time!!!

 

Posted on

Needed a Break!

Angelism: “Need a break? Take a break. Only you can know when you must slow down.” 

It has been a long time since my last post. Life took a few twists and turns, many that I was not expecting but I welcomed the change. Needless to say I began using my skills 40 hours a week at a desk job which officially lead to writers block. I lost touch on Angelisms, quit checking in with my Facebook following, shut down my Myspace page (I think everyone has done that by now LOL!), and basically lost interest in blogging. In the back of my head I always knew I would get back to writing. I simply needed to focus on my new work projects, take time to travel, spend quality time with my friends and family and well, do anything but blog. With it being a new year, I am ready to make my comeback tour and start sharing again as I have missed it. At what speed I will post who knows but we shall see how it goes.
I don’t know how 2012 was for all of you but it flew by for me. It seems the older I get the quicker the holidays go. It felt like one day I was cooking a Thanksgiving feast and the next day I was taking down holiday decorations and making New Years resolutions. I decided this year that Christmas is only fun and magical for children, the adults who have children, and grandparents. If you don’t get to play Santa and make a child’s wishes come true, I officially think it’s more work than it’s worth. During the holidays there is so much going on; the holiday parties, the gift buying and making time to give the gifts, the cards to send out to everyone you know as well as those who send you one that you were not expecting, making sure you don’t offend anyone by leaving them off a guest list, and being extra sensitive as the holidays bring out people’s crazy emotions. IT CAN BE OVERWHELMING! This extra workload kinda made me say, “The hell with Christmas!” Now I came to this commentary after Christmas when I had only $5 bucks in my checking account and I had gained seven pounds in 30 days. I think my Grinch-like attitude may have more to do with feeling fat, lazy and broke. Getting fat is another depressing struggle during the “be merry” season. Next December, I want to be a kid! Kids don’t think about their waistline when they are eating their third slice of pie for the day. Needless to say, I am glad the holidays are behind me and I can start fresh; like on a treadmill with a paycheck I get to keep! 
For those of you that might read this after all my time away, I want to wish you a very happy 2013. My hope is that it is a good year for all. May it also be free of stupid people crossing my path on a daily basis. 🙂